smile at yourself although you are a loser

it made me feel worthless and useless..

this should've been something that i can be proud of..
however, it has let me down for the second time in my life.

so, what else in myself can i be proud of?

i feel like a loser.

just now, my smile which showed my acceptance came out too fast, even before my heart and brain could take what i had just heard as a reality that i could accept.
i really don't understand why.

can you please tell me why you did this to me?

my hope has gone.
i have wasted my time today.

yeah, i just have to learn how to smile at my failure.

but, still, i'm a loser.. <-- :) must smile at it yeah

just random shout out

you're back! i'm so happy.. he is cute. but he has to be given up to someone else who is ready to take care of him. don't be sad. recover fast, my dear :) i know you don't really feel sad larh hor lols as what you told me. but i don't know what you really feel inside your heart. maybe you feel both sad and relieved :)
i know..

*i know? then just now, before this, i said i didn't know? walauuu.. so inconsistent lols*

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

yesterday officially joined ag flame(percussion). performance 6june08 at dbs auditorium. in collaboration with tjc.

*aiyo, why everything also tjc seeeh*
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

dsa dsa dsa dsa dsa dsa dsa dsa dsa dsa dsa dsa dsa dsa dsa dsa dsa dsa dsa dsa dsa dsa dsa

basketball trial basketball trial basketball trial basketball trial basketball trial basketball trial

yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah

*i mad larh*

God, please be with me.. quite scared cos have not played nor trained for quite long time. Let your will be done.. You have a wonderful plan for me :) amen!

what happened in 26may08..

--however, today during the o level examination itself, i was not able to write narrative.
i didn't even have the ideas of the plot; how the story goes.
i spent those precious 20 minutes just to think of the ideas but couldn't find any!
so wasteful..
i was so worried! anxiety overwhelmed me..

in the end, i ended up writing argumentative essay about how to keep good relation with your friends, which i didn't write that well as expected.

n actually.. didn't write it that whole-heartedly as well.
since i was so prepared for narrative!
well, i shouldn't have stuck to writing only 1 type of compo. i just realised that last night, which made me not really prepared to be able to change my thinking..

paper 2 was okay though. more confidently done than paper 1.

but i just don't feel right.. :( i'm scared i just couldn't score as expected.

now my only hope is oral.
if i couldn't achieve my expectation, i should take another malay paper in october, the thing which i don't want to do.. :(

meet the parents for me was at 3pm.
mr chua joined in our conversation; me, ms ang, aunty ros, n sharlotte (baby talk haha)
what we talked about?? ummm that's.. not to be shared here :D

my amaths this term really pulled me down. yeahhhh thanks to the disastrous mock exam.. :S dropped down by 4grades! so disappointing..

english english english.. aaaarghh!
please.. give me a chance to get that distinction please please pleaseeeee..!
physics too! amaths too..

there'll be no holidays for us yeahhhh! :) :(

so happy for peishiiii! :D
can't wait to see you n asher.. hihihihihiiiiiiii.. aaaahhh!

direct school admissionnnnn!!
mom has just sent my basketball certificate of participation..
hope it'd help!! ameeen.

everyday, everywhere, everytime..
my eyes will always keep wandering around in search of that face again.
i know it's impossible to find n it's crazy..
but i just can't resist it!

correction and comments

Suami kami memang menarik lelaki istimewa. Bukan sahaja dia tampan dan penyayang, tetapi juga soleh dan taat beribadah. Sudah tidak aneh kalau dia menjadi pujaan dan idaman hati kami.

Tetapi, kelebihan yang dimilikinya ini sudah pasti membawa suatu masalah di antara kami; aku dan Kania.

Wajahku sama cantik dengan Kania, kata Danial. Anak-anakku pun sama comelnya dengan anak-anak Kania. Kepalaku diangguk-angguk mengangguk dan senyumanku kulengkungkan apabila kudengar dia berkata begitu. Namun, hatiku selalu membangkang. Aku, sebagai seorang wanita, ingin dianggap lebih cantik, lebih menarik, lebih segalanya!

Kania memang menawan. Tubuhnya bagaikan seorangperagawati. Senyumannya manis bagaikan senyuman Monalisa yang selalunya menarik perhatian para lelaki. Namun, bagiku, senyumannya bagaikan duri. Sungguh menusuk sanubariku. Mengapa cantik betul dia? Danial pasti telah berbohong kepadaku. Pasti dia menganggap bahawa Kania lebih cantik daripada aku. Aku yang sudah mulai keriput di sana sini, sudah lupa ini dan itu, pasti sudah tidak menarik lagi bagi Danial.

Di hadapan Danial, kami memang nampak baik-baik sahaja. Bersalaman, berpelukan, bersenyuman. Disebalik semua itu, rasa benci ini ingin sekali aku luapkan.

"Hei, isteri muda tak tahu diri. Masih berani lagi kau menginjakkan menjejakkan kakimu di rumahku ini." kata-kata itu meluncur daripada bibirku ketika kami berada di dapur, menyiapkan makanan untuk perayaan harijadi anak perempuanku yang berumur tujuh belas tahun.

Hai.. Apa pula hakmu melarang-larangku datang kesini? Dasar orang tua tidak tahu malu. Ingatkah yang rumah ini bukan milikmu? Menumpang rumah tapi mahu menyombong sahaja sudah sombong sangat."

Kurang ajar betul anak muda ini. Aku mengetap bibirku menahan perasaan geram yang sudah hampir meletus. Untung sahaja Danial datang menghampiri kami di dapur. Kalau tidak, rasanya ingin sekali aku menangankan mukanya.

Selepas sahaja Danial pergi, mulutnya dibuka lagi, "Heh, urus sahaja anak cacatmu itu. Ada Anak cacat pun mahu menyombong sombong sangat." Seperti pisau yang ditancapkan ke jantung hatiku, seperti itulah sindiran tajamnya menghancurkan perasaanku. Boleh dia menyindir apa-apa sahaja, tetapi jangan harap dia dapat menyindir boleh mengata-ngata anakku! Ternyata, senyuman yang biasa dilengkungkannya itu menyembunyikan sebuah racun yang dapat dikeluarkannya sewaktu-waktu. sesuka hatinya


Setajam kata-katanya, setajam itu pula pisau yang akhirnya aku ambil dan kucuba hunuskan kepadanya ke arahnya. Namun, sayang seribu sayang, Danial menangkis seranganku sehinggakan pisau itu akhirnya terhunus kepadanya ke tubuhnya, bukan Kania.

Darah merah mengalir sederas aliran air mata jernihku dan Kania. Astaghfirullahalazim, Rafida, apa yang telah kau buat ini.. Kakiku menjadi lemah. Aku terduduk di lantai sambil merenung muka tampan Danial yang malang.

Sejenak sahaja, tetamu kami datang mengerumun."Ampun, ampun, ampun.." seperti orang gila aku berteriak-teriak minta ampun.

Pujaan hatiku segera dibawa ke hospital dengan ambulan. Manakala aku dibawa ke pejabat polis oleh pihak polis yang segera datang. Tidak ada apa-apa lagi keterangan yang dapat aku berikan untuk membela diriku.

Di sinilah aku sekarang, di balik jeruji sel yang memang layak untuk wanita kejam sepertiku wanita penuh dendam seperti aku layak tinggali. Aku menyesal. Namun, bagaikan pepatah sesal dahulu pendapatan, sesal kemudian tidak berguna, perasaan sesalku sudah tidak ada gunanya lagi.


"Ada yang mahu bertemu dengan anda." kata pengawal itu. Ah, siapa pula yang hendak bertemu seorang pembunuh seperti aku. Dari jauh, aku ternampak muka cantiknya. Aku gementar. Takut kalau-kalau dia akan mencaci maki aku atas kejadian ini.

Aku membisu. Malu aku. "Fida, keadaan Danial sudah bertambah baik membaik. Dia suruh saya hantarkan ini kepadamu. "Sepucuk surat berwarna merah jambu diberikannya kepadaku. "Sa.. saya mohon maaf, Kania.. Selama ini, saya.." belum habis aku berbual, dia sudah menyampuk, "Tidak. Saya yang seharusnya bermohon maaf. Saya tidak seharusnya menyinggung perasaan kakak dengan mempersoalkan tentang soal anak kakak yang cacat.Saya.. terlalu terbawa oleh emosi. Maaf.." Kakak? Tanganku dipegangnya dengan erat.

Aku buka sepucuk surat itu. Surat dari Kania danDanial. Air mataku mengalir membasahi pipiku. Danial.. Maafkan aku. Kania.. Maafkan aku. Aku memeluk tubuh mungil Kania dengan erat penuh haru.

Semenjak hari itu, dia selalu datang mengunjungiku. Danial pun datang setelah keadaannya sudah pulih. Aku dan Kania menjadi sahabat yang amat karib akrab. Aku menganggapnya seperti adikku sendiri. Bahkan hubungan kami lebih akrab daripada hubungan kakak beradik.adik beradik

this is the comment from cikgu rubiah, thanks cikgu for spending your weekend checking my karangan.. :)
evelyn,
karangan yang baik. Saya rasa kamu mampu untuk menjawab soalan naratif dengan baik. Berhati-hati untuk tidak terikut-ikut menggunakan bahasa indonesia di dalam karangan kamu. Selamat maju jaya.
ISI – 18/25
BAHASA- 16/25
JUMLAH – 34/50

Malay O Level Preparation

Tuliskan sebuah cerita yang bermula dengan permusuhan tetapi berakhir dengan persahabatan.

Suami kami memang menarik. Bukan sahaja dia tampan dan penyayang, tetapi juga soleh dan taat beribadah. Sudah tidak aneh kalau dia menjadi pujaan dan idaman kami.

Tetapi, kelebihan yang dimilikinya ini sudah pasti membawa suatu masalah di antara kami; aku dan Kania.

Wajahku sama cantik dengan Kania, kata Danial. Anak-anakku pun sama comelnya dengan anak-anak Kania. Kepalaku diangguk-angguk dan senyumku kulengkungkan apabila kudengar dia berkata begitu. Namun, hatiku selalu membangkang. Aku, sebagai seorang wanita, ingin dianggap lebih cantik, lebih menarik, lebih segalanya!

Kania memang menawan. Tubuhnya bagaikan seorang peragawati. Senyumnya manis bagaikan senyum Monalisa yang selalunya menarik perhatian para lelaki. Namun, bagiku, senyumnya bagaikan duri. Sungguh menusuk sanubariku. Mengapa cantik betul dia? Danial pasti telah berbohong kepadaku. Pasti dia menganggap bahawa Kania lebih cantik daripada aku. Aku yang sudah mulai keriput di sana sini, sudah lupa ini dan itu, pasti sudah tidak menarik lagi bagi Danial.

Di hadapan Danial, kami memang nampak baik-baik sahaja. Bersalaman, berpelukan, bersenyuman. Di sebalik semua itu, rasa benci ini ingin sekali aku luapkan.

"Hei, isteri muda tak tahu diri. Masih berani lagi kau menginjakkan kakimu di rumahku ini." kata-kata itu meluncur daripada bibirku ketika kami berada di dapur, menyiapkan makanan untuk perayaan harijadi anak perempuanku yang berumur tujuh belas tahun.

"Hai.. Apa pula hakmu melarang-larangku datang ke sini? Dasar orang tua tak tahu malu. Ingatkah yang rumah ini bukan milikmu? Menumpang rumah sahaja sudah sombong sangat."

Kurang ajar betul anak muda ini. Aku mengetap bibirku menahan perasaan geram yang sudah hampir meletus. Untung sahaja Danial datang menghampiri kami di dapur. Kalau tidak, rasanya ingin sekali aku menangankan mukanya.

Selepas sahaja Danial pergi, mulutnya dibuka lagi, "Heh, urus sahaja anak cacatmu itu. Anak cacat pun sombong sangat." Seperti pisau yang ditancapkan ke jantung hatiku, seperti itulah sindiran tajamnya menghancurkan perasaanku. Boleh dia menyindir apa-apa sahaja, tetapi jangan harap dia dapat menyindir anakku! Ternyata, senyum yang biasa dilengkungkannya itu menyembunyikan sebuah racun yang dapat dikeluarkannya sewaktu-waktu.

Setajam kata-katanya, setajam itu pula pisau yang akhirnya aku ambil dan kucuba hunuskan kepadanya. Namun, sayang seribu sayang, Danial menangkis seranganku sehinggakan pisau itu akhirnya terhunus kepadanya, bukan Kania.

Darah merah mengalir sederas aliran air mata jernihku dan Kania. Astaghfirullahalazim, Rafida, apa yang telah kau buat ini.. Kakiku menjadi lemah. Aku terduduk di lantai sambil merenung muka tampan Danial yang malang.

Sejenak sahaja, tetamu kami datang mengerumun. "Ampun, ampun, ampun.." seperti orang gila aku berteriak-teriak minta ampun.

Pujaan hatiku segera dibawa ke hospital dengan ambulans. Manakala aku dibawa ke pejabat polis oleh pihak polis yang segera datang. Tidak ada apa-apa lagi keterangan yang dapat aku berikan untuk membela diriku.

Di sinilah aku sekarang, di balik jeruji sel yang memang wanita penuh dendam seperti aku layak tinggali. Aku menyesal. Namun, bagaikan pepatah sesal dahulu pendapatan, sesal kemudian tidak berguna, perasaan sesalku sudah tidak ada gunanya lagi.

"Ada yang mahu bertemu dengan anda." kata pengawal itu. Ah, siapa pula yang hendak bertemu seorang pembunuh seperti aku. Dari jauh, aku ternampak muka cantiknya. Aku gementaran. Takut kalau-kalau dia akan mencaci maki aku atas kejadian ini.

Aku membisu. Malu aku. "Fida, keadaan Danial sudah membaik. Dia suruh saya hantarkan ini kepadamu." Sepucuk surat berwarna merah jambu diberikannya kepadaku.

"Sa..saya mohon maaf, Kania.. Selama ini, saya.." belum habis aku berbual, dia sudah menyampuk, "Tidak. Saya yang seharusnya bermohon maaf. Saya tidak seharusnya menyinggung soal anak kakak yang cacat. Saya.. terlalu terbawa oleh emosi. Maaf.." Kakak? Tanganku dipegangnya dengan erat.

Aku buka sepucuk surat itu. Surat dari Kania dan Danial. Air mataku mengalir membasahi pipiku. Danial.. Maafkan aku. Kania.. Maafkan aku. Aku memeluk tubuh mungil Kania dengan erat penuh haru.

Semenjak hari itu, dia selalu datang mengunjungiku. Danial pun datang setelah keadaannya sudah pulih. Aku dan Kania menjadi sahabat yang amat karib. Aku menganggapnya seperti adikku sendiri. Bahkan hubungan kami lebih akrab daripada hubungan kakak beradik bagaikan isi dengan kuku.









Evelyn

i love ball games

aaaarrrghh!

i suddenly felt urged to screaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaammm!

I REALLY WANT TO GO TO TJC BY DIRECT SCHOOL ADMISSION!

i really wanna play basketball again!

hope that the certificate of participation of being a regional basketball player in 2006 in indonesia could help.

mumm, please send it fast! nownownownownownownownownowww!

teachers, please help meee with it!

but i still wanna play tchoukball as well :)

yeah! see.. i really do eat balls!

wishes from germany

i was so shocked when i saw the email from fc bayern munich fan club, the subject was somethingsomethingsomething then geburtstag (birthday).
wow! this is it..

Liebe Evelyn Tan,
der FC Bayern wünscht Ihnen als Mitglied der T-Home Fankurve alles Gute zum17. Geburtstag. Wir würden uns freuen, wenn Sie uns auch in Ihrer ganzpersönlichen nächsten Saison bei bester Gesundheit die Treue halten und vielSpaß an Ihrem Lieblingsklub haben.

Herzlichst,
Ihr FC Bayern MünchenUli Hoeneß


the translation (by PROMT online translator):
Dear Evelyn Tan,
the Bavarians FC wishes you as a member of the T-Home fan curve all the best to the 17-th birthday.
We would be glad if you hold the loyalty to us also in your quite personal next season with the best health and have a lot of fun in your favorite club.

Warmly(With kind regards),
your Bavaria FC Munich Uli Hoeneß




:D yeahhh!

17. old? or mature?

even though i don't feel happy with my birthday (as i now have turned older), i don't feel sad either.
instead. i feel so high. (huh, is there any significance haha..)

during malay class, my teacher n friends sang a birthday song for me.
even another malay class did the same thing too when i went in there to pass something..

the mother tongue (malay) intensive programme today was so stressful i don't know why.
plus, i was so sleepy.
my essay, the teacher said that i made it too flowery such that it hindered the storyline..
i was quite disappointed n was to come to wonder how i could improve on it.
i was doubting myself as well, whether i could do better since i always have problems with manipulating an interesting storyline.
so, my favourite lesson didn't turn out to be quite fun on this birthday of mine.

but.. this is the interesting part!
was asked by nissa to come down to the surreptitious place that she showed me the other day.
there, my friends were already waiting. trying to hide the cake while i had already seen it!
hahaha.

was asked to make 17 wishes.
7 of the 17: 1) A1 for chemistry 2)A1 for physics 3)A1 for amaths 4)A1 for emaths 5)A1 for english 6)A1 for malay 7) A1 for combined humanities.
yeah..
8) germany must win the euro 2008!
9) get into my dream junior college, victoria!
10) i wanna go to germany for my university
11) umm some germany people stuff :)
12) may God bless the world; problems:the earthquake victims, terrorism, global warming..
13) may God bless my family..
14) may God bless everyone taking the o levels, especially my friends in pyss!
15) i want to at least be at the top 4 or 3 for tchoukball competition : pleaseeeee..

the rest (2more).. personal stuff that are only for me to know.
haha..

they all bought me a small soccer ball (white nike ball, i had wanted the black adidas ball tho. but, this is better as they could write on it)
ate the cake yeah!

gave to some teachers too :D including mr chua. lol.

thank God for today..

oh yeah. i like this simple celebration.
i'm so happy that i don't celebrate sweet 17 like what common girls in indonesia do. haha.
(just like what i had been wanting when i was sick of seeing their luxurious n complicated celebration, lol don't get offended please :P)

testing 1, 2, 3

i eat balls

:) my brother is back!
he messaged me today..
actually his phone was spoilt that no one could contact him.
n he'd been away for around 2 weeks for holidays.
so jealous..
he went to the castle that my friends n i stayed at..
oh gosh! i really miss that place so much!
can't help it!

today celebrated tahir's birthday altho his birthday is on 18may..
gave him cake, present (u know what.. girls' panties! insane!), went to eat at bagus in the late evening :)
yuummm..
after that, i ate again at hm since the staff had kept my dinner, yeah just to appreciate them..



today got the new tchoukball training tshirt.
I EAT BALLS.. pingyi tchoukball.. freakshow!
:) yayyy!

went back for band today after 1 month's off.
seeing the section members being split up into some other sections, it made my heart broken into pieces..
:( ohhhh..
but i was laughing when i saw khairi, the joker, changed from percussion to euphonium (but in the end to trombone, which he still doesn't like haha)
altho in my heart, i was very sad to see it happening..

moreover, there'll be 40 over people who can't go for indoor competition next year..
sad sad sad..

yay monday is a holiday..

sunday is a cip day!
haha..

deutschland rocks. project was over.

arrrghh i get so angry already!
this is my third time typing the same kind of post!
cos my previous two were failed to be posted..

anyway, the day after yesterday we ended up staying over at kelvin's house doing the project.me, dan, yimin, n kelvin himself.

today, in the morning i was so damn angry.cos our project was not completely done -we haven't put the song, neither have we set the timing so that the slide can change by itself- and ms val was not able to help us with it.
moreover, my amaths mock exam paper was.. crap!
while a lot of others managed to pass n some even got distinction, i'm wondering why i couldn't do as well.

at the very last minutes before the presentation, i was even more down.
mr rezal said that our presentation might not go smoothly cos he might not have time to put the song..
n i quarrelled with kelvin just because of a small stuff.i'm now so embarrassed cos it seems so funny that i ever quarrelled like that.it was so childish.

well, it was indeed true. it didn't really go smoothly.at the beginning, we had some difficulties finding the song that we want.n don't know why, in the middle of presentation the power point slide was stuck.but it only happened for about 5 seconds.
5 seconds of "boo"-ing commotion.

however, i don't know why it didn't embarrass me. it didn't even strike me as odd.
i even talked (surprisingly) confidently to introduce my group n fanny's group (at the end of my presentation)

i was so elated n surprised that the song really matched with the presentation!
it ended together with the slide show!was extremely happy!
even though i think the presentation didn't catch the sec1-3s' attention much.

n i found that someone in sec3 really loved the german song that was being played during the presentation.german song rocks la :P

my presentation made nissa remember about germany; made her miss germany even more! haha.. me too :'

her presentation was sooooooooo funny n at the same time.., lame! haha..but it wasn't fair! cos nissa n mr rezal didn't appear, while the others were embarassing themselves!only their voice! no fairrrr!hahahaha..

bought a candy floss for my roommate n she was so happy :D

ok now that it's all over, i'm free! i want to go n jog now.. yeah!n then study..hhh i couldn't force myself to study!! :(

helllppppppppp!!!!!!!!!

punishment. Germany. Ko oki.

i miss germany! really miss it so much!

until.. weirdly, i cried last night that i could hardly sleep..
yeah, actually this is mainly due to my brother.
i'm really in a confusion about where in the world has he gone to?
he has never updated his friendster, never replied my sms, never called me nor my parents in indonesia, never gotten back to his friends who have been trying to contact him.
ko, where are you?!
i really miss you..
i hope that you are doing fine there.. maybe you are doing your final paper so that you deprive yourself from talking to anyone and not because of something else.

today i was really happy at school. perhaps it was because i wore my new bag to school :)
and.. i could meet my friends :D

but.. this feeling just cant go away..
this is precisely the same as how Michael in the book that i've been reading (this is my second time reading the book), Punishment by Francis King about this group of English students who went to Germany to know about what had happened more.
Like him, I could not get Germany and all the memories I had there out of my head!

i really miss you so much.. ko oki..
i miss you so much.. germany.

last night, i somehow could feel the coolness in germany.
the cool air, it was really touching my skin..
GERMANYYYY!!

God, please protect him..
i'm so worried..! :( helppp!

my inspiration is her..

I really adore her.
She is my inspiration!
Allison!

We met just before my syf outdoor (Saturday)..
When she first came to AG with the others from the Beautiful People on Wednesday.

She has beauty, brain and behaviour.
Not only that..
She is very amiable and sociable.
More interestingly, she plays almost all kinds of sports!
Gosh..! She is just.. perfect!

She believes that even though I fail now, if I study harder, O Levels will not be a problem.
But.. somehow.. now.. I just can't believe in myself.. anymore.

I just don't get how some people are able to achieve straight As for Os.
It just seems.. impossible.

Although she looks very relaxed. And.. she doesn't study like a nerd, she still managed to get straight As for O Levels and get into Hwa Chong Institution.

I wanna be like her!!
:)

In September, she's going to UK.
Oxford is waiting for her.. She'll be in full scholarship.
Wow..


When I think of her..
I just feel encouraged to open my book and study.. :)

Okay.. I wanna study now!
Failures are just lessons for me to learn to be better.

Stay happy! Yay!

Lord is helping me.. :D

I'm a failure..

oh gosh.
I don't know what happened to me.
I thought it's going to be alright after that time, but it didn't turn out that way..
Is it because I've been mingling too much with the locals that I don't focus on my studies?
That's what I've been putting the blame on. But, I don't think it's right.
Lord, whyyy..
Did I not try hard enough? Did I not study hard enough?
Did I not rely on you enough?
Well.. yeah, I think the last ones are the true reasons why..
Or, is it because He has a better plan for me in the future?
Like.. He gives me failures so that I can grow up to be a tough woman?
or.. maybe, He wants me to peak at the right time, ie. O Levels?
But.. If I don't produce the expected results now, how can I score for my Os?

I've failed my physics mock exam for the structured questions with the terrible E8..
So, overall I got C5.
Isn't that terrible?!
Gosh!

Today, Emaths mock exam. I don't know why I just couldn't manage to get what most of my friends got!
Anyway, during the exam, I'd been thinking of what mr rezal told me about one teacher who'd always be fierce at anytime.
Suddenly, she really showed it to me..!
She scolded me when I turned my head back to talk to nissa, as she was asking me how to tie the answer papers together when there was no hole at all..
Holding back my laughter and at the same time, anger, (as I was helping her to tie the papers together!) I just smiled at her and said "Okay.." cos I understood her characteristic.
Lol. Sigh. Not funny though..

I just feel very sad..

I don't feel happy! I feel damn angry!
Stupid viruses and spam! Dammit!
They are making me crazy..
This is what would turn out when you don't have an active and regularly-updated antivirus..
My laptop is infected by those stupid parasites which are depriving me from doing my stuff in my computer.

Anyway, my days have been fun.
Since that day, when estee, nissa, tahir, ray, cedrick and I studied together at parkway mac donald's, we all became a real study group.
Yeah, I eventually find my study buddies.
We've been studying together a few times after that.
It's not the study group where we all discuss about some stuff together; we just do our own stuff but we are sitting together so that one could be motivated seeing others doing their work.

Nissa, estee and I really became like sisters, especially after that wonderful and cheery night on labour day - our BBQ day.
Preparation days made us and other friends become closer together.
Spending those afternoons after school, buying food and other stuff for the bbq at bedok interchange with our heavy bags.

Wednesday, only me staying over at nissa's house -pranking those who were online on msn haha- cos estee were told by her parents to cancel the plan to stay over. It was very devastating.

But, we eventually managed to stay overnight together at nissa's house after the bbq.
It was unexpected and out of our plan.
After the bbq - spending the night under the starry sky with our beloved friends barbequeing the food that we couldn't finish - we suddenly came up with the idea to sleep over, even though the following day was a school day.

It was so fun! Found out something very interesting and unbelievable.. Haiz.

Slept at around 2+. I was the last one to sleep as I tried to finish my eventually-unfinished homework.

Without any preparation to go to school - except books that I happened to bring - I didn't feel unsecure cos I could borrow nissa's uniform and shoes.
But estee took her uniform at her house in the morning.
Having a little bit problem with the taxi booking in the morning, we finally managed to be at school on time and had our prata for breakfast before the ball rang.

And on that day, even though I had only slept for 3 and a half hours, I felt so high.
LOLS.

Now I'm at kelvin's house, was doing our germany project again.
due date on 15may, gosh!
daniel is here, oh my gosh!
hahaha. he damn crappy la hahahahha..
I showed him the cutie picture and he became very high!

hahaha..

kelvin, too bad your mouth is off the picture

i swear i never played!