the end of colourful august

This is the end of August.
This is the end of the colourful month; when both painful sorrows and beautiful moments played their part in colouring this time of the year.
And a month when I really felt that loneliness.

The day before yesterday was a satisfying day cos I got my room all cleaned.
Yesterday was a relieving day..
and a reconciliation day, I should say..
And an IKEA day!
The stuff had made my table look prettier than ever!

And it ended up with a colourful day too. Today.
Guilty, inferior, excited, disappointed, loved, encouraged, discouraged.

I think I just sense too much, if it's the right statement to express it.

I always think that nobody likes me, but at the same time I don't think so.
What do I expect to be treated actually?
Respectfully?
But.. I can be so nasty to those people I don't like whereas they still treat me exceptionally nicely, despite all the bitterness I've shown to them.
So, how am I justified to expect to be treated respectfully by everyone?
Maybe, those who don't appreciate my presence just don't like me,
and they have the rights to do so and it's fair
since I also do that to those people I don't like.

Sometimes I feel that it just sucks to be me; to always feel this way, drowned in this misery pitying myself.
And it sucks to always feel that it sucks to be me.

In addition, I don't know where -it- is going to..
Should I continue what I've been doing?
How will it end up?
What if someday I won't have it anymore?
There will be a big hole. How will it feel like, I really can't imagine.
This is already very far. And now I don't want to lose it.

However, those worries and uncertainties must not trouble me at this point of time at all!
I should focus. Exactly 50 days. Madness.. :
Should get the 12-point prelims results to spur me on, not to relax.
(10 - thanks to unexpectedly amazing CCA points)
That's one thing that surprised me to a certain extent.

No, SHUT UP! Don't be too proud!

310808 - 010908 00.11am

Colourful August after all

Malay
CCA Points
Thank God for those two.

Thank God for Joanne, for the quality time we had together, having all the fun and indulgence on August 16..

Thank God, you have somehow led me back to You again..

Lonely.. I need something else, more than this!
Thank God for this thing which I actually don't really think it's right.
It's addictive.. but as long as the "drugs" are present, I'll surely be fine and satisfied.
But, how long will this last?
..But I couldn't believe it still that we're moving somewhere.
Somewhere that I'm not sure whether it's where I do and will want to be.

Thank God, English oral is over.

Sighs.

Singfest..

My brother came..
Inspiring me and cheering my days up..
Telling me not to worry..
Encouraging me to study..
And the effect was like no one ever did before.
It was perfect..

Arab St, Bugis, Ikea, Link hotel..

I thought this month would have been the most wonderful month ever.
But I think I was wrong.

Or maybe, the fun only lasted when my brother's still here.



Nothing could have been worse than today.



Shit, damn him who had discouraged me!
FFFFFFFFFFFF!
He looked at me with such disdain.
I couldn't face it.



Broken.



But maybe it's not enough for me.

I received a call from mom in the bus -while myself had already chocked-
just to have another reason to choke even more!

I couldn't believe my ears for hearing that news.

Rest in peace, my uncle..

second day of SINGFEST

August 3, 2008

it was just OKAY.

Just loved:
1. one republic
2. panic at the disco

the rest, just alright..

;]

THE AMAZING first day of SINGFEST

August 2, 2008
1. met Shaun and Jonny (Crowned King) at the merchandise booth while queuing up to get in.
took pictures with Shaun only.
wanted him to sign on my belt, but he already ran away after a lot of people took pics with him.

2. touched Chris' (Melee) hand while he was singing.
it was sooooooooo awesome! :D
was thinking of not washing my hand after that. but, oh well..

3. Jeff from Simple Plan saw me asking for his guitar pick. I GOT IT FROM DAVID!
it was an eye contact! really, i swear. he was like, saying, "okay".
after that, he threw at my direction. but somebody behind me took it away from me.
shit.
but, after that, David threw his guitar pick.
..i was looking for it on the ground. and.. I GOT IT!! :D

4. Travis' bassist, Dougie Payne, kept looking at OUR DIRECTION (me and nissa) and SMILING AT US! GOSH! :D
wowiee! it was amazing. unbelievable.
we were at the very front row.
the feeling was great when we realised that he REALLY smiled AT US!
A LOT OF TIMES!
during encore, we shouted: WE LOVE YOU (Dougie Payne)!

5. Chris from Melee. WOW! He's.. for real! hahahs.
gosh! we took a picture with him after Travis' performance.
he was talking to some angmoh audience (or maybe, his family? i don't know)
I got him signed my BELT! my GERMANY BELT! hahs.
Nissa hugged him!
He hugged me too while we took the picture
(it was before Ray took over my position, damn you!)


6. Again, Shaun and Jonny from Crowned King!
we were walking out.
suddenly we saw them still hanging out at the merchandise booth!
so we approached them again, took a picture.
got Jonny signed my BELT!
got Shaun signed my new converse shoe (right side)!
hugged them! :) ohhhh..

7. ....was looking for Travis, but it was just impossible. sighs.



happy!!!! ;)