a silly, hopeless wish

It's 00.08am. And I still can't get to sleep. I just toss and turn here in my bed,wondering what it'll feel like. What will it feel like? But, will I EVER feel that anyway? The idea that O Levels will be over in 8 to 9 hours' time doesn't seem that WOW anymore, it only makes me feel relieved and nothing else. No more of a feeling of accomplishment any longer. Cos there's this wish I've been wanting over the past few days, that makes the accomplishment seem not so real no more. A wish that'll probably remain as a wish for the next i-don't-know how many years, or.. maybe even forever. It's silly for me to have been thinking this way. But I can't do anything. And they make me envy them. I never felt this way before. Last time it was me who used to make my friends envy me. But I think, it's time for me to envy them.. Well.. Now, I realise that mine's actually getting nowhere. A vague, unreal, fat hope.