finally

Finally. Finally. Finally.

201009

One lesson. God never comes too late.

Despite what I've done, yet He always comes to my rescue.

I miss those moments. All that I had last week.

I couldn't believe what I saw, tasted, felt, heard and breathed in.

All felt like a sweet dream, too good to be true - but yet too fast to slip away.

Sometimes when I stare into the still air, I could even see everything so clearly as though it's real.

I miss you.

Well, I can't believe that I'm still here in 'the system'.

I don't know how long more I can survive though.

It really depends on tomorrow.

Sometimes I just wish that it'll be so bad that I won't even need to think twice to get out.

But somehow I could predict that I'll still survive till the day. (well, it may be wrong...)

But, again, I myself don't know which I'd prefer - should I bear with it like the rest and stay, or should I leave.

Air supply and other oldies mode on. Thanks to Rachel's new iTouch.

Shall get back to doing my duty as 'an obedient student'.

gloomy - a week after

Thanks JJ and Tiger.

You guys know it when I'm sad.. :)

Love you guys..

Kojel, I'm sorry.... :'(

someone behind the looking glass, will you ever bloody change?!

such an idiot!

despite everything that's happened, still you haven't learnt your lesson yet!

even a donkey is cleverer than you; it won't fall into a hole for the third time!

please use your bloody brain!

it was supposed to be a nostalgic moment, but you spoiled it.

1 week ago.. didn't you know how to appreciate that moment?

can you stop being so stupid that you can never anticipate stupid and regrettable stuff from happening but regret it after it's happened?

why can't you put in the bloody fff effort!

Heaven, could you help me?

are there anything wrong with me such that i don't deserve any aid?

come and rescue my soul from this darkness, that i may have clear vision and thoughts, conscience and perseverance to put in the effort in everything i do.

Ruler of the Earth, could you help me help myself?

where are you.. don't forsake me, leaving myself in this impasse..

i want to get out. don't let me indulge myself in this muddy pit..

good poems

"You are young and beautiful,
Sweet as the breath of May.
Earnestly I speak to you.
Weigh ev'ry word I say.

If you want to have a rosy future
And be happy as a honey bee,
With a husband who will always love you,
Baby, Don't marry me.

If you want a man you can depend on,
I can absolutely guarantee
I will never fail to disappoint you,
Baby, Don't marry me.

I eat litchie nuts and cookies in bed
And I fill the bed with nutshells and crumbs.
I have irritating habits you'll dread,
Like the way I have of cracking my thumbs.

My grandpa was a big game hunter,
He met grandma swinging on a tree.
If you want to have attactive children,
Baby, Don't marry me.

--I would like to see my sons and daughters
Sliding up and down their father's knee.--
They'll get splinters in their little fannies,
Cookie, Don't marry me.

I'm devoted to my dear old Mama,
And if you and Mama disagree,
I would always side with her against you,
Schnookie, Don't marry me.

--I would always like to know where you go.
I don't like a man to keep me in doubt.--
Honey that's a thing that's easy to know,
You will always know where I am, I'm out!

I am talking like a Chinese uncle.
I'm as serious as I can be.
I am saying this because I love you,
Darling, Don't marry me!"

"I have wished before,
I will wish no more.

Love, look away!
Love, look away from me.
Fly, when you pass my door,
Fly and get lost at sea.

Call it a day.
Love, let us say we're through.
No good are you for me,
No good am I for you.

Wanting you so, 
I try too much.
After you go,
I cry too much.

Love, look away.
Lonely though I may be,
Leave me and set me free,
Look away, look away, look away... from... me."

the 37 cliche - the day of escapism

wasted effort walking so far from little india mrt station to mustafa centre. was hoping to change some sing $ to taiwanese currency, but not a single money changer had it in a small amount. shucks. no i wouldn't take the 1500 note, of course!

been about more than half a year since the last time i went there; with mom :)

missing my family and everyone else in Indonesia, as always.

..hmm, the attempt didn't succeed. i wonder why - very picky, maybe? despite that, finally found something somewhere else! unexpected, but satisfying. i didn't exactly know how to react. should i be surprised? should i act normally? but, anyways, just let go. although still seems very familiar and feels very close, i know i don't want to go back. this new one should be able to make me happier - now and also in the future, i hope.

tomorrow onwards - a great escape. but also a very deadly one.

neglected work, missed lessons - shucks that I'll need to catch up and work even much much harder after coming back. (yeap, accumulated neglected work since the beginning of the year due to training + everything else when i'm away)

can't wait for this to be over. next year. hope i can make it through at the end of this year. i need YOUR help, really.

they'd better let me in tomorrow although without the visa - the letter had better be sufficient!

hoping to have a fruitful experience at the end of it.

thanks God - for your merciful help and blessings in making it all come true :)

the places that i miss..

Dear Bandung,

I miss you a lot.. :'(

I'll be coming back soon..

Evelyn.

                                                                      Istana Plaza.. :'(

                                                            Congo.. that evening..
                                               Pasopati bridge that we always passed..
                                           Sierra...

                                                                     Suis Butcher
             Satay seller at Jl. Pandu - i always passed by this everytime we went to his place..
                                                  Road. To Bandung.                                          

                                                 Ngopi Doeloe.. that evening.. hmm.

                                      Vipassana Graha vihara. Lembang.

                                                     Moko... :') moko.. moko.... :(

                                                Kampung Daun.. that evening..

                                                    Jalan Pahlawan. That green angkot... :(

                                                      Rumah Mode.. i want to shop there.. :(

                                             Rumah Mode.... :(

PILOT. LESSON.

I just read a news about how a pilot died mid-flight.

I find the incident quite miraculous. tsktsktsk.

It's not common to have 3 pilots on board, but in this case there were fortuitously 3 pilots.

It was advantageous as 2 pilots could land the plane better than only 1 pilot.

It's as though this flight was already prepared to face this incident beforehand that they had 3 pilots instead of 2 :)

Those pilot-wanna-bes out there..

1. You must start practicing conversing with your father, since you might have to work with an old man (max. 65 years old) on board.

(pilots on board must be of different age to reduce the chance of having pilots suffering health problems on the same flight) 

2. You should stop drooling over your friend's meal, because you'll need to eat different choice of meals from your co-pilot.

:)

the xoxo GG

S, you're my motivator.. :)

i should stop taking it too seriously. 

i know everything is hard, but it doesn't mean i shouldn't try.

but.. it doesn't mean i should take it too seriously that it should always go as i wish.

let me fail and learn.

but, let me peak again one day. at the right time.

peak when the time is right.

the forgotten.

i just haven't found someone like you yet to tell me that again.

but i guess i don't need to wait for that someone to remind me about that.

be less dependent. once told, it would always be up there.

just recall.

rainbow after a storm

Amazing Grace, how sweet the sound,

That saved a wretch like me....

I once was lost but now am found,

Was blind, but now, I see.

marley n me

i simply LLLLOOOOVVVEEEE this movie. MARLEY AND ME.
free tickets for me and my roommate from Aunty Dora, one of the beautiful people group members (volunteers), who works at the cathay.
but i wouldn't hesitate buying the ticket myself for that movie.
if you're a romantic-comedy kind of person, this movie is a must-see.
i got very emotional towards the end. o well.
it's a good way to get your accumulated emotions out.
you need it sometimes.
and i need some more.. i need a chance to get everything out!

i just don't understand myself.
i'm doing things that seem good, but not necessarily actually that good for me.
i'm doing things that sound right, but not necessarily what i really want to do.
i don't know what i'm doing. i don't know what i should actually do.

AJ idol audition

AJ Idol Audition. LT4. 6+ pm. 27feb09.
something to remember for the rest of my life.

it was my first band performance that I'd ever had. (not including marching band performances)
Screwed up at some parts. But overall, we rocked! :D
we did our very best. all out. all good.

my dream really came to reality. performing in front of people, playing a guitar, doing a rock song.

thanks to all my band members. PARACHUTE rocks! HAHA.
gran, jason, yiling, cheryl, vanessa :)

also, thanks to all parties that have been involved in making our practices and audition go well.

:)

it doesn't really matter to me if we don't get into finals.
there's still next year :D
performing with a guitar in front of people is already an accomplishment to me :)
and the most important things are that we did our best and we had fun! :D

i love guitar.........................................................................................

life in ajc

It's been a while..
But, I'm apparently facing a problem of scarcity in terms of time. (yeah, econs..)
So much to write, but so little time..

Anyway, in a nutshell.. AJC turned out to be quite fun.
Despite all the sobs and regrets for the choice I made for the JAE posting, that, I THINK, had caused me to end up getting into my 4TH CHOICE!
Distance didn't really matter in the end.
It's all worth the travelling.
And I'm not alone. There are three other EASTERN PEOPLE in my class, who live even further than me.
In addition, the travelling is not as troublesome as travelling to the JCs that I actually wanted to get into. And it only takes around 40 mins travelling by bus, and around 30 mins by train.
Oh gosh! AJC is just next to the MRT station! Awesome, isn't it?
Moreover, Ang Mo Kio interchange is COOL and COLD (literally) :D
(no more Bedok interchange, eve! isn't that good?)

I love my classmates!
Cooperative, parcitipative, enthusiastic, united..
37/09!
What more can I ask for? LOL.

Oh I love the angmoh teachers! HAHA.
One of them teaches our English Literature.
I love my PD tutor (History teacher) and the PD buddy-tutor (Econs and PW teacher)!

Except for the old buildings, everything in AJC is fine :)

CCA: Guitar Ensemble.
H2: History, English Literature, Economics.
H1: GP, PW, Malay.

English Literature was confusing.
But now it's not that confusing anymore, but it's still tough.
Do excuse me, please. I had never taken Literature before.

Hope to cope well.. :)

No too-high expectations, please, eve.

o levels

i can't tell whether it's expected or unexpected.

after the o levels, i had an expectation..
but i couldn't believe that it really came true. only, not meeting the expectation.
did worse by 1 point than my that "play-play" expectation.
thought i'd get worse than 12, since the top student got 12.
but.. no.
..and i was shocked knowing that i cried after seeing my results..
thanks, Lord..!

although it's not up to my "wowwie" expectation, all this is good! i swear..
XD

a lot of odd things happened,
details:
.i thought i'd get so bad for my english since my letter was TOTALLY out of point (i was so careless, didn't read all the instruction carefully), but at least i got a b3! crazy.
.i thought i'd get a2 for chem and b3 for physics. but in fact it's the other way round XD

sometimes i wonder..
how did those top students study?
or were they just born genius? -.-
sometimes i wish i was one of them XD
but.. well, i'm grateful for all that i got.

sometimes i wonder..
why must some of the students get the results that, i think, they don't deserve.
they'd been working so hard.. but, why?
isn't it unfair?
(well, this whole paragraph doesn't apply to those students who hadn't been working hard..)

gosh. JAE, for me, is very hard.
Lord, please help me decide..
i hope i have my luck this year :D hehe.

goshhh.. vtvtvtvtvtvt..

ohh.
3dec, 10jan, 12jan, 13jan.
heeehhhh XD