die utopische-inseln

Skills In Demand To Work In Singapore

2011-01-21T22:18:00.003+08:00

Working in Singapore sounds very interesting, doesn't it?

It's the hub of almost everything: medical, tourism (especially with the recently opened Integrated Resorts at Marina Bay and Sentosa), trade, education, etc.

It's a country with multiracial society, resulting in the presence of various types of food and cultures. Hmm, imagine yourself trying out different kinds of dishes everyday: Indian food, Malay food, Chinese food, Peranakan food, Indonesian food, Western food, Arab food, just to name a few... :)

But of course that would not be the main impetus for anyone to come here to work.

Most importantly, English is the main language used here. And, it's one of the fastest growing countries in Asia with many MNCs (Multinational Companies) branching to Singapore. This means that there are a lot of opportunities to come and look for a job here.

For those interested in coming to Singapore to work, this link may be useful to see if the skills you've currently had are in the list of skills-in-demand in Singapore.

http://www.mom.gov.sg/Documents/manpower-resources/Factsheets-Circulars/SSL%20Occupations%20_Full_.pdf

And according to the news, some sectors are hiring fast in the first quarter of this year of rabbit! Hmm.. ;)

http://www.channelnewsasia.com/stories/singaporebusinessnews/view/1105952/1/.html

Check them out! :)

When Your Cat Attracts Your Attention, Capture It!

2011-01-14T13:23:00.006+08:00

Her name is JJ. She's a very lovely cat. And, yup. As we can see, she likes to do all sort of funny pose :)

do I look like a squirrel?

I feel like sleeping..

Now, I'm awake!

Other than that, she's also very playful. Once, she caught a bird and brought the corpse to my room. Feathers and blood were all over the place, and finally the corpse was found underneath my roommate's bed. Eww.

Nevertheless, she's a lovely cat :)

And my advice is, always get your camera ready as you'll never know when your lovely pets are going to pose so nicely that you just want to capture that moment!

rette mich.

2010-03-18T19:22:00.002+08:00

i'm such a mess. my life's in a big mess. i need to clear all the dust and rubbish in me. i need to grow up. why is it hard to care for others? why am i such a selfish person?

maybe it's true, the more you hate someone, the more you'll become like that person. or is it true that the more someone nags at you about something, you'll be indoctrinated by what that person says, although you appear to rebel and disagree with what that person says?

seriously. i'm such an ungrateful person. at the same time, does that mean i'm a liar? a hypocrite? everytime i go to church or pray, i'll give thanks to the Lord. i'll praise and thank Him for what He's done for me; dying on the cross to save me from the darkness. but am i truly praising Him? since what i'm doing daily-my inability to be grateful for everything and my taking things for granted- doesn't reflect that i'm thankful for the eternal life He's given me. or, do i thank Him for dying on the cross in my prayer just for the sake of saying it? does it mean that i never mean it?

i feel really lost. i don't know how am i supposed to be like. i know no one can save me besides myself. but sometimes complacency hinders me from growing.

i need to practice. love others. forgive others. don't take things for granted. thank God in every kinda situations. other people owe you nothing-don't ever demand anything from anyone.

finally

2009-10-26T23:11:00.001+08:00

Finally. Finally. Finally.

201009

2009-10-20T20:27:00.002+08:00

One lesson. God never comes too late.

Despite what I've done, yet He always comes to my rescue.

I miss those moments. All that I had last week.

I couldn't believe what I saw, tasted, felt, heard and breathed in.

All felt like a sweet dream, too good to be true - but yet too fast to slip away.

Sometimes when I stare into the still air, I could even see everything so clearly as though it's real.

I miss you.

Well, I can't believe that I'm still here in 'the system'.

I don't know how long more I can survive though.

It really depends on tomorrow.

Sometimes I just wish that it'll be so bad that I won't even need to think twice to get out.

But somehow I could predict that I'll still survive till the day. (well, it may be wrong...)

But, again, I myself don't know which I'd prefer - should I bear with it like the rest and stay, or should I leave.

Air supply and other oldies mode on. Thanks to Rachel's new iTouch.

Shall get back to doing my duty as 'an obedient student'.

gloomy - a week after

2009-08-29T07:56:00.001+08:00

Thanks JJ and Tiger.

You guys know it when I'm sad.. :)

Love you guys..

Kojel, I'm sorry.... :'(

someone behind the looking glass, will you ever bloody change?!

such an idiot!

despite everything that's happened, still you haven't learnt your lesson yet!

even a donkey is cleverer than you; it won't fall into a hole for the third time!

please use your bloody brain!

it was supposed to be a nostalgic moment, but you spoiled it.

1 week ago.. didn't you know how to appreciate that moment?

can you stop being so stupid that you can never anticipate stupid and regrettable stuff from happening but regret it after it's happened?

why can't you put in the bloody fff effort!

Heaven, could you help me?

are there anything wrong with me such that i don't deserve any aid?

come and rescue my soul from this darkness, that i may have clear vision and thoughts, conscience and perseverance to put in the effort in everything i do.

Ruler of the Earth, could you help me help myself?

where are you.. don't forsake me, leaving myself in this impasse..

i want to get out. don't let me indulge myself in this muddy pit..

good poems

2009-07-30T17:42:00.001+08:00

"You are young and beautiful,
Sweet as the breath of May.
Earnestly I speak to you.
Weigh ev'ry word I say.

If you want to have a rosy future
And be happy as a honey bee,
With a husband who will always love you,
Baby, Don't marry me.

If you want a man you can depend on,
I can absolutely guarantee
I will never fail to disappoint you,
Baby, Don't marry me.

I eat litchie nuts and cookies in bed
And I fill the bed with nutshells and crumbs.
I have irritating habits you'll dread,
Like the way I have of cracking my thumbs.

My grandpa was a big game hunter,
He met grandma swinging on a tree.
If you want to have attactive children,
Baby, Don't marry me.

--I would like to see my sons and daughters
Sliding up and down their father's knee.--
They'll get splinters in their little fannies,
Cookie, Don't marry me.

I'm devoted to my dear old Mama,
And if you and Mama disagree,
I would always side with her against you,
Schnookie, Don't marry me.

--I would always like to know where you go.
I don't like a man to keep me in doubt.--
Honey that's a thing that's easy to know,
You will always know where I am, I'm out!

I am talking like a Chinese uncle.
I'm as serious as I can be.
I am saying this because I love you,
Darling, Don't marry me!"

"I have wished before,
I will wish no more.

Love, look away!
Love, look away from me.
Fly, when you pass my door,
Fly and get lost at sea.

Call it a day.
Love, let us say we're through.
No good are you for me,
No good am I for you.

Wanting you so,
I try too much.
After you go,
I cry too much.

Love, look away.
Lonely though I may be,
Leave me and set me free,
Look away, look away, look away... from... me."

the 37 cliche - the day of escapism

2009-07-21T01:06:00.004+08:00

wasted effort walking so far from little india mrt station to mustafa centre. was hoping to change some sing $ to taiwanese currency, but not a single money changer had it in a small amount. shucks. no i wouldn't take the 1500 note, of course!

been about more than half a year since the last time i went there; with mom :)

missing my family and everyone else in Indonesia, as always.

..hmm, the attempt didn't succeed. i wonder why - very picky, maybe? despite that, finally found something somewhere else! unexpected, but satisfying. i didn't exactly know how to react. should i be surprised? should i act normally? but, anyways, just let go. although still seems very familiar and feels very close, i know i don't want to go back. this new one should be able to make me happier - now and also in the future, i hope.

tomorrow onwards - a great escape. but also a very deadly one.

neglected work, missed lessons - shucks that I'll need to catch up and work even much much harder after coming back. (yeap, accumulated neglected work since the beginning of the year due to training + everything else when i'm away)

can't wait for this to be over. next year. hope i can make it through at the end of this year. i need YOUR help, really.

they'd better let me in tomorrow although without the visa - the letter had better be sufficient!

hoping to have a fruitful experience at the end of it.

thanks God - for your merciful help and blessings in making it all come true :)

the places that i miss..

2009-06-30T00:04:00.005+08:00

Dear Bandung,

I miss you a lot.. :'(

I'll be coming back soon..

Evelyn.

Istana Plaza.. :'(

   Congo.. that evening..
   Pasopati bridge that we always passed..
   Sierra...

   Suis Butcher
   Satay seller at Jl. Pandu - i always passed by this everytime we went to his place..
   Road. To Bandung.

Ngopi Doeloe.. that evening.. hmm.

Vipassana Graha vihara. Lembang.

Moko... :') moko.. moko.... :(

Kampung Daun.. that evening..

Jalan Pahlawan. That green angkot... :(

Rumah Mode.. i want to shop there.. :(

Rumah Mode.... :(

PILOT. LESSON.

2009-06-19T22:12:00.002+08:00

I just read a news about how a pilot died mid-flight.

I find the incident quite miraculous. tsktsktsk.

It's not common to have 3 pilots on board, but in this case there were fortuitously 3 pilots.

It was advantageous as 2 pilots could land the plane better than only 1 pilot.

It's as though this flight was already prepared to face this incident beforehand that they had 3 pilots instead of 2 :)

Those pilot-wanna-bes out there..

1. You must start practicing conversing with your father, since you might have to work with an old man (max. 65 years old) on board.

(pilots on board must be of different age to reduce the chance of having pilots suffering health problems on the same flight)

2. You should stop drooling over your friend's meal, because you'll need to eat different choice of meals from your co-pilot.

the xoxo GG

2009-05-13T00:01:00.003+08:00

S, you're my motivator.. :)

i should stop taking it too seriously.

i know everything is hard, but it doesn't mean i shouldn't try.

but.. it doesn't mean i should take it too seriously that it should always go as i wish.

let me fail and learn.

but, let me peak again one day. at the right time.

peak when the time is right.

the forgotten.

i just haven't found someone like you yet to tell me that again.

but i guess i don't need to wait for that someone to remind me about that.

be less dependent. once told, it would always be up there.

just recall.

rainbow after a storm

2009-04-19T01:21:00.003+08:00

Amazing Grace, how sweet the sound,

That saved a wretch like me....

I once was lost but now am found,

Was blind, but now, I see.

marley n me

2009-03-17T00:14:00.004+08:00

i simply LLLLOOOOVVVEEEE this movie. MARLEY AND ME.
free tickets for me and my roommate from Aunty Dora, one of the beautiful people group members (volunteers), who works at the cathay.
but i wouldn't hesitate buying the ticket myself for that movie.
if you're a romantic-comedy kind of person, this movie is a must-see.
i got very emotional towards the end. o well.
it's a good way to get your accumulated emotions out.
you need it sometimes.
and i need some more.. i need a chance to get everything out!

i just don't understand myself.
i'm doing things that seem good, but not necessarily actually that good for me.
i'm doing things that sound right, but not necessarily what i really want to do.
i don't know what i'm doing. i don't know what i should actually do.

AJ idol audition

2009-02-28T00:45:00.004+08:00

AJ Idol Audition. LT4. 6+ pm. 27feb09.
something to remember for the rest of my life.

it was my first band performance that I'd ever had. (not including marching band performances)
Screwed up at some parts. But overall, we rocked! :D
we did our very best. all out. all good.

my dream really came to reality. performing in front of people, playing a guitar, doing a rock song.

thanks to all my band members. PARACHUTE rocks! HAHA.
gran, jason, yiling, cheryl, vanessa :)

also, thanks to all parties that have been involved in making our practices and audition go well.

:)

it doesn't really matter to me if we don't get into finals.
there's still next year :D
performing with a guitar in front of people is already an accomplishment to me :)
and the most important things are that we did our best and we had fun! :D

i love guitar.........................................................................................

life in ajc

2009-02-25T23:17:00.003+08:00

It's been a while..
But, I'm apparently facing a problem of scarcity in terms of time. (yeah, econs..)
So much to write, but so little time..

Anyway, in a nutshell.. AJC turned out to be quite fun.
Despite all the sobs and regrets for the choice I made for the JAE posting, that, I THINK, had caused me to end up getting into my 4TH CHOICE!
Distance didn't really matter in the end.
It's all worth the travelling.
And I'm not alone. There are three other EASTERN PEOPLE in my class, who live even further than me.
In addition, the travelling is not as troublesome as travelling to the JCs that I actually wanted to get into. And it only takes around 40 mins travelling by bus, and around 30 mins by train.
Oh gosh! AJC is just next to the MRT station! Awesome, isn't it?
Moreover, Ang Mo Kio interchange is COOL and COLD (literally) :D
(no more Bedok interchange, eve! isn't that good?)

I love my classmates!
Cooperative, parcitipative, enthusiastic, united..
37/09!
What more can I ask for? LOL.

Oh I love the angmoh teachers! HAHA.
One of them teaches our English Literature.
I love my PD tutor (History teacher) and the PD buddy-tutor (Econs and PW teacher)!

Except for the old buildings, everything in AJC is fine :)

CCA: Guitar Ensemble.
H2: History, English Literature, Economics.
H1: GP, PW, Malay.

English Literature was confusing.
But now it's not that confusing anymore, but it's still tough.
Do excuse me, please. I had never taken Literature before.

Hope to cope well.. :)

No too-high expectations, please, eve.

o levels

2009-01-13T23:20:00.003+08:00

i can't tell whether it's expected or unexpected.

after the o levels, i had an expectation..
but i couldn't believe that it really came true. only, not meeting the expectation.
did worse by 1 point than my that "play-play" expectation.
thought i'd get worse than 12, since the top student got 12.
but.. no.
..and i was shocked knowing that i cried after seeing my results..
thanks, Lord..!

although it's not up to my "wowwie" expectation, all this is good! i swear..
XD

a lot of odd things happened,
details:
.i thought i'd get so bad for my english since my letter was TOTALLY out of point (i was so careless, didn't read all the instruction carefully), but at least i got a b3! crazy.
.i thought i'd get a2 for chem and b3 for physics. but in fact it's the other way round XD

sometimes i wonder..
how did those top students study?
or were they just born genius? -.-
sometimes i wish i was one of them XD
but.. well, i'm grateful for all that i got.

sometimes i wonder..
why must some of the students get the results that, i think, they don't deserve.
they'd been working so hard.. but, why?
isn't it unfair?
(well, this whole paragraph doesn't apply to those students who hadn't been working hard..)

gosh. JAE, for me, is very hard.
Lord, please help me decide..
i hope i have my luck this year :D hehe.

goshhh.. vtvtvtvtvtvt..

ohh.
3dec, 10jan, 12jan, 13jan.
heeehhhh XD

dilemma

2008-12-11T14:05:00.006+08:00

twilight's awesome. everything's awesome yesterday.
cheap ticket. good movie. good people to go with.

only the seat was not that comfortable. it's too front. neck pain.
despite that, sitting there's good.., after all. first time, ever, in my life.. *smiles*
the failed-to-happen sounded so sweet.
maybe i wish it would've happened. no? yes?

congo. eeh. nice food! *aaaa..* nice atmosphere. nice jokes. nice laughs. nice memories. nnnggggaaaaaaaw..

indeed, all that i once wished for has kinda come true.
but, now i'm afraid if what i want out of this is only the kinda thing that i wished for?
and nothing else?
so, it's kinda unwise to have decided to let it continue.
it'd just be hurtful for all of us. but, it's unavoidable.

what if i lose this one day.. cos even now i'm still not that sure.
i guess all i really want is that thing.
and it makes me feel guilty everytime it's said and done..
and i can't be strict.
my heart says yes. my mind says no. and sometimes my heart says.. "ehhh, maybe."

now that i think of it.. is there something more actually?
cos i can't avoid it anymore.
nooo..? yes? no???

irgendwann einmal, möchte ich bitte einen Traummann..

3things

2008-12-10T01:35:00.001+08:00

crush, infatuation, love.
what the heck!
heck!
hhhhheeeeecccckkkk!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

get me out of this kinda thing!

corruption

2008-12-05T19:26:00.003+08:00

I wonder why people still do it when they know that it's not right,
despite a lot of examples about it; how those people who've committed it are condemned and punished.

I guess it's already in everyone's blood. Planted deeply in their flesh.

As a victim of it yesterday, I felt guilty more than cheated.
Guilty cos I couldn't do anything to tell him that it's wrong.
I couldn't, cos I was scared I'd get hurt or anything like that if I accused him for doing so.
But, all I did was just to appease him.
I didn't stand up for what's right, instead I gave in cos I was scared.
Well, it's only Rp 4,000 difference. But, still, lie is a lie.
Small crime doesn't mean no crime.

Now that I think of it.. In the Bible, it says: But I say to you, do not resist the evildoer.But whoever strikes you on the right cheek, turn the other to him as well.

I wonder if that's what I'll do again when someone asks for a bribe from me.
Ha ha. What should I do, eh??

Well, don't those who've committed it over and over again, have conscience whatsoever?
Even for those who are poor, they have no rights or excuses for doing so!
What the hell..
I mean, don't be selfish larh.
And they shouldn't take things for granted.
It's not like, cos they're poor, everyone should pity them and give what they want.

They should do something good, instead of pitying their own selves.
But it's hard to do, cos everyone thinks that it's impossible to get out of the poverty circle.
Ha ha. I'm talking as if I know what they're going through. Silly me.
I know it's difficult. Natürlich, it is.
But, at least, don't take a shortcut cheating on other people and taking them for granted.

Too bad, in fact, only a handful of people have the passion to help these people out.
Even less can come up with the ways to help these people out.
(As in, come up with the appropriate ways of helping. Not by giving them cash!!
That doesn't work of course. They need education and moral support!)
And, even much less than that can actualize those ways.
But too bad, most of the people are too oblivious.
Thinking of their own stuff.

This is the reality. So, no wonder there are a lot of corruption cases in Indonesia.
People are just too selfish.

Knowing the reality.. sometimes I doubt that my wish will really come true.
As someone of my race, I'll always be treated this way.
Get cheated, envied, discriminated.
What do I need to do?

liebe. it ruins.

2008-11-28T05:56:00.003+08:00

love hurts. love ruins.
but if you fall in love with someone you'll live with for the rest of your life, you're lucky.

having crushes is enough for now. there's a lot of time.

i've just learnt a lot.

good bye. try not to talk to me, man. haha. good luck.
diary is just a diary. all that's inside's just about the past, it shouldn't have any power over me. be less emotional.

Heimat - brings all kinda feelings

2008-11-27T00:07:00.003+08:00

"...
I think I've lost my way.
I'm in need of shelter,
Far above this place.

I can see a castle,
High up on this hill.
Could it be my freedom,
Left to my own will?

I thought I was holding on,
But my heart slipped away.
There's nothing wrong,
That's my song,
I wanna let it play.
I wanna let it play.

This love needs a home......"

Fortress - Hope

i'm getting comfortable being here so fast and i kinda hate it. cos then i won't be able to easily overcome the homesickness after i leave.

everything in the past starts to come niggling in my mind.
all comes with some thoughts full of wonders, questions, doubts, and also some feelings of emptiness, jealousy, and dissatisfaction.
i just can't picture him with someone else.
tho i myself can picture me with someone else. that's so unfair.
ha-ha-hah. (sarcastic)
...why her? and why so much of a change!
*but, that's too much. let them be.
you didn't wanna be with him anyway. you don't and you won't*

but i need... that.. too for myself. i feel so insecure.

take me away..

ikea. with mom.

2008-11-19T01:48:00.007+08:00

well. i love her. i swear i do. despite everything. i wanna make her happy.
she knew my obsession, but had no objection. woo.

ikea, ikea, ikea, ikea, for today.
loveditloveditlovedit. bought a stuff that i failed to buy the other day.
i felt that, i could just stay there for 4 to 5 hours admiring the things there.

couldn't find salmiakki at all.
but dinner with mom there was AWESOME :D
well, that's mom :D

mom took this. awesome, isn't it? :D
IKEA at night. b e a u t i f u l.

hope tomorrow's plan will go smoothly and turn out fine.

it's running low. and i need it the most now.
He will provide. amen.

2.10am

thedamned

2008-11-18T13:10:00.004+08:00

it's been so long since i last listened to it.

but, this time i just can't help but listening it again. nothing can suit all this.

this was the kinda thing i was afraid of to ever happen.

nothing's gonna turn out fine everytime i'm with her.

but it's sad to know that she's like this.

that's sad. sad. sad..

how i wish she could ever change. she'll just never change. i just can't take it.
i just can't.
i can't.
i can' take it.

uplifting not

2008-11-17T02:18:00.002+08:00

it wasn't anything that uplifting as expected, after all. instead, it made everything kinda.. worse? at least in me. my head.

but there were some unexpected stuff that encouraged me somehow.

can't believe that there are still people who say what i wanna hear.
can't believe that there are people out there who want to listen and understand..

i'm just... touched..
thanks.

welcome the new one

2008-11-14T03:41:00.009+08:00

i think i was genius. or i had a very strong intuition. or it was just me who ruined it all. or maybe it was just meant to happen anyway, and that it was all planned so well.. that it then also means that i had a very strong intuition, conclusively.

but it was all good, after all. i know it's all for good.

and it was just at the right time. a bit dramatic tho, but i was left in awe that it was just all planned so well..

the end of something can mean the end of a lot of other things too, sometimes. that's what i've learned. the fact that it really did happen, that's what made me left in awe.

i don't ever wish anything to change. but, it'll never be the same again, however it is, whatever's said. it just won't, in a sense. it might still seem similar, but won't ever feel the same no more. (i wish that nothing should change but me solely)

but, thanks, a million thanks. all of it made me look into this person more closely than ever. and all i saw was someone that i didn't wish her to be. all i saw was someone i had long hated. she's just undesirable. who's she? how on earth could there be anyone like her? and she's now realising how she doesn't want herself to be like this no more.

she needs to change for the better, for herself. it's the time. it's the right time. when it's all really over and something new should begin. why not.

she'd long been someone who's arrogant and ignorant and oblivious. been ignoring what everyone said. been only listening to her rebellious mind thinking that she should just be cool, by being different from the rest cos she just couldn't be like them. she'd just long been in denial.

now i've opened my eyes widely. my mind and heart, too. and that's when i can really listen to what mom says. my mistakes that she points out, and how she says i should better behave like. i thought it was cool to do them. i regret that i ever did think that way. now it's gonna take me long to change. how i wish i really listened to what mom said when i was young. it's kinda too late, but i'll still do try. i'll listen to her more.

i need to one day be someone that i'll really like. not someone whom i'd been pretending to like and be comfortable with. need to look at how old i am now. and how i should better be like.

tomorrow. for me, it'll be the celebration of the new me. it'll be the new cover page of the journey of my new me. CELEBRATION!

a silly, hopeless wish

2008-11-12T00:09:00.007+08:00

It's 00.08am. And I still can't get to sleep. I just toss and turn here in my bed,wondering what it'll feel like. What will it feel like? But, will I EVER feel that anyway? The idea that O Levels will be over in 8 to 9 hours' time doesn't seem that WOW anymore, it only makes me feel relieved and nothing else. No more of a feeling of accomplishment any longer. Cos there's this wish I've been wanting over the past few days, that makes the accomplishment seem not so real no more. A wish that'll probably remain as a wish for the next i-don't-know how many years, or.. maybe even forever. It's silly for me to have been thinking this way. But I can't do anything. And they make me envy them. I never felt this way before. Last time it was me who used to make my friends envy me. But I think, it's time for me to envy them.. Well.. Now, I realise that mine's actually getting nowhere. A vague, unreal, fat hope.

taylor swift's love story

2008-11-11T23:17:00.002+08:00

I got tired of waiting,

Wondering if you were ever comin' around.
My faith in you was fading
When I met you on the outskirts of town,

And I said,
"Romeo save me - I've been feeling so alone.
I keep waiting for you but you never come.
Is this in thy head? I don't know what to think-"

He knelt to the ground and pulled out a ring and said,
"Marry me, Juliet - you'll never have to be alone.
I love you and that's all I really know.
I talked to your dad - go pick out a white dress;
It's a love story - baby just say 'Yes.'"

oh maaannnn...

DAMMIT. SHUT UP..
I just can't help but keep listening to it..
Getting so overwhelmed by what it's saying.

Everyone else is getting their own.
I can see it blooming all around.

last beat

2008-11-11T20:32:00.003+08:00

Spent the whole day downtown with roommie and her bf.
It was very kind of them, accompanying me to shop around buying stuff for "the night" I've been RATHER excited about, LATELY. (before, I wasn't. It's always kinda late for me to get excited over that kinda thing. AT LEAST, I think so)
PROM NIGHT!

Last night was a "girls' night" for me and my roommates.
Well, except Bliss.
Shared a lot of things, including our dark secrets..
Everything we'd not shared with anyone else before. Oops..
*gasps*

Now I know a bit MORE about MORE things.
The taboo, the unseen.

Laptop was confiscated for a night and a day.
I just got it back now. But it was all good.
Finally, I didn't spend the night staring at my laptop, instead spending the night talking to them till 2am.
And.. Now, I don't have to lend them my laptop ANYMORE.
(Isn't that good? Haha! *evil laughter*)
But, too bad for them.

Last exam for me tomorrow..
Everyone's celebrating today, but tomorrow will be my turn!
(though I've been kinda ignorant of studying TOO seriously for these last two exams)

Gotta refresh my memory one more time tonight.

whotheheckisobamaobama

2008-11-08T01:41:00.006+08:00

..
I just read Nissa's blog.
CRAP!
It reminded me.. that..
I didn't blog on that day when history was made!
I was elated too, to know that Obama won.
And how dare I didn't write it down here!
For me to read in the future, how happy I was!
Man..

Anyways..

Nissa said: (http://www.myempty-thoughts.blogspot.com/)

"You may say 'So what? He's just another president of the US, thousands of miles away from here'. Well, I happened to learn that whatever happen in the west, will affect the whole world in one way or another. And I don't fancy to have another world war being on the verge of errupting. I might not be accurate in my knowledge, but I truly hope Obama will bring about some humanities around."

But, I say:

"Ooooobama! The guy who was once in Menteng 1 elementary school in Indonesia."

It concerns me too, u know. Because he was once studying in Indonesia, my country. Isn't that a "wow"?

Menteng students overjoyed with Obama's win

The Jakarta Post | Wed, 11/05/2008 3:02 PM | Jakarta

"Obama... Obama... Obama... We love you!" yelled hundreds of students from all grades in a Menteng elementary school in Central Jakarta on Wednesday, as they watched results come in for the U.S. presidential election.

Students and teachers were overjoyed to suspend classes, gather in a 1,500 square meter ballroom and witness how a former student of the school became elected the next president of the United States.

Headmaster Kuswadiyanto said the teachers and students had been starting their school day differently during the past few days.

"Every morning before lessons start, we've been praying for Barry, hoping for him to win the election," Kuswadiyanto said, as quoted by kompas.com.

As tallies on the television screen grew and confirmed Obama's win, all the students expressed their happiness by running around, scattering all over the place, dashing out of the ballroom and roaming the schoolyard even though rain was pouring down.

Obama's victory was also their victory. They were proud that the one-time Menteng student had became the leader of the most powerful country on the planet. "I want Obama to come here so we can talk with him," said Ajo, a fifth grader.

The teachers said the school would pray for Obama again on Thursday. "We want to express our thankfulness, so we will continue praying for him.... Today we are just enjoying this victory with the students," Kuswadiyanto said. (and)

http://www.thejakartapost.com/news/2008/11/05/menteng-students-overjoyed-with-obama039s-win.html

AND!

I just realised something.
Isn't it amazing, that the world's most populated Muslim nation - Indonesia, can now be more supportive towards America, through the new leader - Obama?
You know how anti-America most of the radical Muslim Indonesians were, but now..
Everything, well, seems to change a little bit.
Well, it's fine if the rationale used to be supportive towards him is just because he once studied in Indonesia..
The bottom line is that, hey behold, Indonesians are supporting a leader in USA!

Yeah. Not only Indonesians.
But also the whole world, especially those groups in certain countries who used to be anti-America, will now see this world's great power in a more positive light - through a figure of a" black" Barrack Obama.

BUT..
Don't judge a book by its cover.
It's not over. It's just the beginning.
How he represents the majority group, through his physical figure, is not the "thing" after all.
We should all see how he works things out.

Don't just be a dumb Obamaniac (or any other politician-maniac) without knowing anything about the policies etc.

But well..
I do hope that he really meant what he'd said throughout all his campaigns about making a change.
I, personally, believe that he will fulfill most of the things he said.
(but once again, we'll see)

PEACE IN THE WORLD.
STOP THE COLD WAR (that still secretly continues).

GOGOGO OBAMA!
(make Indonesia proud too, hehehe) <--- oops, excuse me, my inner thought said so hehe..

nope

2008-11-08T01:27:00.001+08:00

maybe not..

a glimpse of joy in the midst of sorrow

2008-10-25T19:53:00.005+08:00

peishi and me a few months ago

the mad ladies across my bed

me n bri today

m a d roommies
(minus Bliss and Winnie)
winnie took the pic

I love my roommates XD
"one of the million reasons I smile"

was doomed today. but not tomorrow

2008-10-21T20:32:00.004+08:00

Why did it have to happen to me..
Why me.. Why me.. Why me..
I was doomed..
God, why..
No, it's not gonna happen again to me for the rest of the exams..
Please tell me that it's not going to happen again!
Are they going to be merciful enough, that I will be able to have my dream come true..

rain - scared

2008-10-19T18:47:00.002+08:00

nah. not waiting for the bus.

waiting for the rain to stop..

sighs. scared.

i see heaven

2008-10-18T06:35:00.004+08:00

i wonder..
heaven on earth..
how does it feel like?
how does it look like?
how does it taste like?
how does it sound like?
:)
hmmmmmmm.....

suratsuratsuratsuratsuratsuratsurat aaaaaahhhh..

6.40am sleep well..

the time is nearing

2008-10-17T20:47:00.005+08:00

I am scared..

I'm not doing that well..

Help..

Philippians 4:6-7
"Never worry about anything, but in every situation let your petitions be made known to God in prayers and requests, with thanksgiving.
Then God's peace, which goes far beyond anything we can imagine, will guard your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus."

...

Philippians 4:13

" I can do all things through him who strengthens me."

Confirmation Day

2008-10-17T20:34:00.009+08:00

This was the day.. October 12, 2008.

In white shirt, white skirt, and white heels.

An Amazing Day :)

Confirmation at St. Andrew's Cathedral.

This is a ritual for Anglicans to be confirmed to say that they are part of the church.

liberty

2008-10-11T00:51:00.002+08:00

Recently, I have always felt so empty deep inside despite getting almost everything I wanted.
This feeling, I think, I have to attribute it to my loss of focus. I have lost my focus at a very wrong moment. I've become playful and quite unusually negligent of some of my work nowadays, when it's ten days to Os. What a wonderful timing..

Today was the last day of school. Yeap, now I don't have to worry about sleeping too late and waking up so early in the morning. Nothing's restricting me anymore. I can take my time revising all the things for the exams.

I was so happy! And I still am. What a liberty!

But there's a time when I was so emotionally immersed in thoughts, thinking this was a sad thing ever; no more sharing sorrows and laughters with my buddies and teachers.

And most importantly.. THE FOOD. It was a shame to those who had played truant from Tuesday to Thursday cos they weren't able to enjoy the canteen's food for the very last time. Almost all the stalls were closed plus we weren't given recess time.

Anyways, back to my thought that moving on and leaving everything behind are the kinda things that I'm blue about.. When I reconsider it, I'd surely love to NOT go back to those tiring moments spent in school everyday for the entire year ever again. But, somehow this is just some kinda weird thought that keeps niggling in my heart although there's no point regretting that it's over. Cos I don't wish to go back to those moments again! It's just like.. "Oh, it's ashame that it's over. I'll miss it so much. But it's good too that it's fiiiinnnnaaaalllyy over."

TODAY.
I learnt something. Or rather, proved myself that something I heard was actually true.
..ie. everything's relative.
No matter how artistic an artist thinks his piece is, other people won't necessarily think the same way. Different people have different points of view.
So the bottom line is, just appreciate everything you see and hear.
The artist may want to express something that you just can't see, like how sometimes other people don't understand how you're feeling.

And, thank God the speech went smoothly. Many thanks. Expectedly unexpected, it turned out to be.

Official graduation ceremony..

banzai

2008-09-25T00:39:00.002+08:00

I guess, I've been thinking too far..
..hoping too much.
Don't ever get your hopes up, silly silly silly Eve.
O Levels! Banzai! <-- just read some Japanese history stuff, so I get obsessed by the phrase.

rollercoaster high up

2008-09-19T22:18:00.004+08:00

I feel eminently overjoyed and surpassingly grateful today!
WOW. That was an utterly blatant statement..

I don't know! It's just that,
nowadays, I savour such a satisfaction and fulfilment in me.
What could the rationale be?

Well, let me sort some of the possible causes out:

1. I sense a little improvement in my studies

2. I always feel so encouraged to study (doh, O Levels are coming soon!!!)

3. I have friends who really care for me after all, despite all problems I've gone through previously
4. ..friends whom I can really talk and share ideas and things with
5. ..friends who really appreciate and respect me
6. ..friends I can learn things with and from, vice versa
7. ..friends who know and accept the fact that I care for them too
8. ..and that I've come to realise that being so fretful and sensitive about how some particular friends treated me was just a waste of time as well as energy

9. I'm happy with my newly-thinned hair!

10. I've finished reading "If You Could See Me Now".. And I think "Ivan and Elizabeth" 's joy has contributed a lot to my "pocket recently-filled with sunshine"

11. My faith has been restored..

12. and.. Honestly, master has brought about a lot of colours into my life too, in spite of all the odds.. :]

13. ..a lot more.........

..now I've come to realise how blessed my life is.. or rather, has been..
Just that, I had always looked on the dark side of life; now the light has come!

Oh! One more thing..
New roommates brighten up my room :D

It's been a rollercoaster ride for the past two months.
Observing the trend, if I could draw it out in a graph paper, the graph would continue to increase..
And hence I could predict that..
This would reach the peak at the right time..
..1 precious month to prepare..
2 weeks of battle will come right through..
..and I will make it!
Amen..

After all, this is just a ride.
Now I can be up here, but there will be times where I won't be here anymore.
But, I think, I hope, it's still a very loooooooooooooooooooooong way to go..
Haha. Me and my utopian and optimistic hopes.

*angmohangmohangmohangmohangmohangmohs!* LOL!
too obsessed. damn!

..

2008-09-14T06:11:00.000+08:00

Don't want to sleep.
Can't sleep.
Or should I actually be able to sleep then.

woohoo

2008-09-07T00:49:00.000+08:00

wooohooooo at 00.45!

mh, ni zai na li.

2008-09-06T20:58:00.003+08:00

AAAARRRRRRRRRRGGGGHHHH..
..where are you? :(

fear

2008-09-06T20:36:00.002+08:00

I'm so scared..
The wind is so strong..

I'm so scared..
Why does the wind have to come at this point of time?

And I'm so scared..
I'm not in the expected study mode yet.

I think I'm just overparanoid.
It's just wind.

I think I'm just too paranoid.
The wind is outside and I still can close all my windows to avoid the wind blow.
I still have a proper shelter..

And I shouldn't get this anxious!
My brother; he will soon get the way out for his problem.
Me; I still have one and a half month to go. And I should be thankful I realise it now that I'm not in the expected study mode yet, so that I can work on it now.
Slowly but sure. It's not too late.
Strategy, strategy, strategy.
Pray, pray, pray.

met ultah

2008-09-05T06:14:00.001+08:00

Ho ho ho.
Slmt ultah XD

i've been awake for 2 hours :D

ngbrl da 1jm lbh.. hoho.

it's raining.. :D

ktmktmktmktmktm

2008-09-04T03:29:00.002+08:00

ummmmmmmmmmmmhhh..
REAL :D

tb2 ktm, ga nyangka.
pas gw lg suntuk sm sjarah.
dy bljr di luar ga ampe mlm hr ni.
hoho. hoho. hoho.

ga nyangka kt bklan sjauh ini.
apa yg diomongin ciu2 mlh bikin gw smakin yakin ma prasaan gw.

so i think that was wrong.
that wasn't right.

but all has changed.
everything's now right from my point of view.

mo ktmktmktmktmktm.. kpn? hehe....

kgnkgnkgnkgn

2008-09-03T20:46:00.002+08:00

ummmhhh..
I want u, I want u, I want u, I want u, I want u, I want u.
But.. am I sure?
Why always me starting everything.
Is it just me?
You gave me signs too.
Are you just toying with me?

All that we could be, where this thing could go?

2008-09-02T14:57:00.004+08:00

Arrgh..
I just listened to this song again.
But only now that I realise what he's talking about..

Only now that I realise that this song represents -it.
Maybe what my uncle said yesterday really opened my eyes..

"Has it ever crossed your mind

When we're hanging, spending time, are we just friends?

Is there more, is there more? "

"I hung up the phone tonight
Something happened for the first time deep inside
There's a rush, what a rush

'Cause the possibility
That you would ever feel the same way about me
It's just too much, just too much

Why do I keep running from the truth?
All I ever think about is you
You got me hypnotized, so mesmerized
And I've just got to know

Do you ever think when you're all alone
All that we could be, where this thing could go?
Am I crazy or falling in love?
Is it real or just another crush?

Do you catch a breath when I look at you?
Are you holding back like the way I do?
'Cause I'm trying and trying to walk away
But I know this crush ain't goin' away
Goin' away

Has it ever crossed your mind
When we're hanging, spending time (girl), are we just friends?
Is there more, is there more?

See it's a chance we've gotta take
'Cause I believe that we can make this into something that will last
Last forever, forever

Do you ever think when you're all alone
All that we could be, where this thing could go?
Am I crazy or falling in love?
Is it real or just another crush?

Do you catch a breath when I look at you?
Are you holding back like the way I do?
'Cause I'm trying and trying to walk away
But I know this crush ain't goin' away
Goin' away

Why do I keep running from the truth?
All I ever think about is you
You got me hypnotized, so mesmerized
And I've just got to know

Do you ever think when you're all alone
All that we could be, where this thing could go?
Am I crazy or falling in love?
Is it real or just another crush?

Do you catch a breath when I look at you?
Are you holding back like the way I do?
'Cause I'm trying and trying to walk away
But I know this crush ain't goin' away
This crush ain't goin' away
Goin' away
Goin' away
Goin' away"
Crush - David Archuleta

wake me up when september ends

2008-09-02T14:10:00.002+08:00

"Ring out the bells again
Like we did when spring began
Wake me up when September ends

Here comes the rain again
Falling from the stars
Drenched in my pain again
Becoming who we are

As my memory rests
But never forgets what I lost
Wake me up when September ends"

If I should lose it..
..how I wish I could do that;
sleep in peace until September ends..

Well, extend it a bit more?

So.. Wake me up when October and November ends.

goodbye twenty four hours ago. hello september.

2008-09-02T00:04:00.001+08:00

"Twenty four oceans
Twenty four skies
Twenty four failures
Twenty four tries
Twenty four finds me
In twenty-fourth place
Twenty four drop outs
At the end of the day
Life is not what I thought it was
Twenty four hours ago

Still I'm singing, 'Spirit, take me up in arms with You'
And I'm not who I thought I was twenty four hours ago
Still I'm singing, 'Spirit, take me up in arms with You'

Twenty four reasons to admit that I'm wrong
With all my excuses still twenty four strong

See I'm not copping out not copping out not copping out
When You're raising the dead in me
Oh, oh I am the second man
Oh, oh I am the second man now
Oh, oh I am the second man now

And You're raising these twenty four voices
With twenty four hearts
With all of my symphonies
In twenty four parts
But I want to be one today
Centered and true

I'm singing, 'Spirit, take me up in arms with You'
You're raising the dead in me
Oh, oh I am the second man
Oh, oh I am the second man now
Oh, oh I am the second man now
And You're raising the dead in me

I want to see miracles, see the world change
Wrestled the angel, for more than a name
For more than a feeling
For more than a cause

I'm singing, 'Spirit, take me up in arms with You'
And You're raising the dead in me

Twenty four voices
With twenty four hearts
With all of my symphonies
In twenty four parts.
I'm not copping out. Not copping out. Not copping out."
Twenty Four - Switchfoot

Twenty four hours really make a lot of difference.
August and September are a lot different.

31 August and 1 September.
..Today, I was in an extremely different world from where I was yesterday.

I still don't know which one is right.
If this is right, I have to lose everything.
I have to lose everything that I had last twenty four (plusplusplus) hours ago.
I don't know if I'm sad..
..And I need someone to tell me why I should be sad.

If this is right, I have to convince myself..
..that was not real, that was not real.

Goodbye August, goodbye..
Goodbye everything.
Hello September..

the end of colourful august

2008-08-31T23:34:00.000+08:00

This is the end of August.
This is the end of the colourful month; when both painful sorrows and beautiful moments played their part in colouring this time of the year.
And a month when I really felt that loneliness.

The day before yesterday was a satisfying day cos I got my room all cleaned.
Yesterday was a relieving day..
and a reconciliation day, I should say..
And an IKEA day!
The stuff had made my table look prettier than ever!

And it ended up with a colourful day too. Today.
Guilty, inferior, excited, disappointed, loved, encouraged, discouraged.

I think I just sense too much, if it's the right statement to express it.

I always think that nobody likes me, but at the same time I don't think so.
What do I expect to be treated actually?
Respectfully?
But.. I can be so nasty to those people I don't like whereas they still treat me exceptionally nicely, despite all the bitterness I've shown to them.
So, how am I justified to expect to be treated respectfully by everyone?
Maybe, those who don't appreciate my presence just don't like me,
and they have the rights to do so and it's fair
since I also do that to those people I don't like.

Sometimes I feel that it just sucks to be me; to always feel this way, drowned in this misery pitying myself.
And it sucks to always feel that it sucks to be me.

In addition, I don't know where -it- is going to..
Should I continue what I've been doing?
How will it end up?
What if someday I won't have it anymore?
There will be a big hole. How will it feel like, I really can't imagine.
This is already very far. And now I don't want to lose it.

However, those worries and uncertainties must not trouble me at this point of time at all!
I should focus. Exactly 50 days. Madness.. :
Should get the 12-point prelims results to spur me on, not to relax.
(10 - thanks to unexpectedly amazing CCA points)
That's one thing that surprised me to a certain extent.

No, SHUT UP! Don't be too proud!

310808 - 010908 00.11am

Colourful August after all

2008-08-19T00:33:00.000+08:00

Malay
CCA Points
Thank God for those two.

Thank God for Joanne, for the quality time we had together, having all the fun and indulgence on August 16..

Thank God, you have somehow led me back to You again..

Lonely.. I need something else, more than this!
Thank God for this thing which I actually don't really think it's right.
It's addictive.. but as long as the "drugs" are present, I'll surely be fine and satisfied.
But, how long will this last?
..But I couldn't believe it still that we're moving somewhere.
Somewhere that I'm not sure whether it's where I do and will want to be.

Thank God, English oral is over.

Sighs.

2008-08-11T16:06:00.001+08:00

Singfest..

My brother came..
Inspiring me and cheering my days up..
Telling me not to worry..
Encouraging me to study..
And the effect was like no one ever did before.
It was perfect..

Arab St, Bugis, Ikea, Link hotel..

I thought this month would have been the most wonderful month ever.
But I think I was wrong.

Or maybe, the fun only lasted when my brother's still here.

Nothing could have been worse than today.

Shit, damn him who had discouraged me!
FFFFFFFFFFFF!
He looked at me with such disdain.
I couldn't face it.

Broken.

But maybe it's not enough for me.

I received a call from mom in the bus -while myself had already chocked-
just to have another reason to choke even more!

I couldn't believe my ears for hearing that news.

Rest in peace, my uncle..

second day of SINGFEST

2008-08-04T15:40:00.000+08:00

August 3, 2008

it was just OKAY.

Just loved:
1. one republic
2. panic at the disco

the rest, just alright..

;]

THE AMAZING first day of SINGFEST

2008-08-04T15:20:00.000+08:00

August 2, 2008
1. met Shaun and Jonny (Crowned King) at the merchandise booth while queuing up to get in.
took pictures with Shaun only.
wanted him to sign on my belt, but he already ran away after a lot of people took pics with him.

2. touched Chris' (Melee) hand while he was singing.
it was sooooooooo awesome! :D
was thinking of not washing my hand after that. but, oh well..

3. Jeff from Simple Plan saw me asking for his guitar pick. I GOT IT FROM DAVID!
it was an eye contact! really, i swear. he was like, saying, "okay".
after that, he threw at my direction. but somebody behind me took it away from me.
shit.
but, after that, David threw his guitar pick.
..i was looking for it on the ground. and.. I GOT IT!! :D

4. Travis' bassist, Dougie Payne, kept looking at OUR DIRECTION (me and nissa) and SMILING AT US! GOSH! :D
wowiee! it was amazing. unbelievable.
we were at the very front row.
the feeling was great when we realised that he REALLY smiled AT US!
A LOT OF TIMES!
during encore, we shouted: WE LOVE YOU (Dougie Payne)!

5. Chris from Melee. WOW! He's.. for real! hahahs.
gosh! we took a picture with him after Travis' performance.
he was talking to some angmoh audience (or maybe, his family? i don't know)
I got him signed my BELT! my GERMANY BELT! hahs.
Nissa hugged him!
He hugged me too while we took the picture
(it was before Ray took over my position, damn you!)

6. Again, Shaun and Jonny from Crowned King!
we were walking out.
suddenly we saw them still hanging out at the merchandise booth!
so we approached them again, took a picture.
got Jonny signed my BELT!
got Shaun signed my new converse shoe (right side)!
hugged them! :) ohhhh..

7. ....was looking for Travis, but it was just impossible. sighs.

happy!!!! ;)

sleepless slumber on prelim days

2008-07-29T23:32:00.000+08:00

Sleeping makes people happy after they are awake.

Yeah, that statement is believable.
It is supported by another source. The radio.
(Although there is only a phrase saying: The TV is never wrong, I think it works too for radio)
The radio 98.7 says that sleeping makes women grumble less.
So..
Guys, let your girls have enough sleep to make them happy!
If they are happy, you will be happy too!

Umm..
I couldn't be bothered by that fat hope anymore.
Who cares. Don't wanna give a fig.

It was so touching.
When I was rushing off to study at *$ (Starbucks -abreviation by Nissa),
Ahpa called me to come closer to him.
I thought it to be a joke.
But I just complied with it.
"..give me your two hands.."
I was like.. "Wth is he gonna do?"
"..now, close your eyes.."
He held my hands.

..then the prayer went..
Uhh, it was soooo sweeeet.
"May you bless her with Your wisdom for her exams and be the best.."

But, I'm so sorry that I might disappoint you this time.
I screwed up my prelims.
Should've been able to score well enough for my history paper.
But, 12marks have gone because of my carelessness.
I MISREAD THE QUESTION!

Alright, still gotta move on.

in vain

2008-07-23T20:00:00.000+08:00

This is all confusion.
Their attitude towards me.
Sometimes makes me feel like I'm abandoned, sometimes my suspicion seems totally wrong.

And I'm just waiting in vain.
This is only a fat hope after all.

The photographs. They speak a thousand words.
Though ambiguous, they mean at least something.

Why does it always rain on me?
I'm just none of those perfect ones who deserve a perfect one.
Sometimes I just hate myself for being me. But there's no point in it.

Things just won't turn out to be like what I've been expecting.
Sighs. Too high an expectation.

No good. Must resist myself from doing it again. But, how?

Prelims.

i dont need an imitation.

2008-07-20T22:34:00.000+08:00

thanks to Daniel. I really would like to acknowledge him for what he has done.. This is a phrase by him to express happiness:

"I'm happy till the extent of I can kiss every single bees out there.."

Tomorrow is prelim and I still feel so relaxed. Oh gosh. How could this be?

And my night study and group study, nearing the prelim itself, all screwed up.
Why so?

But, I'll never regret tonight.
If Daniel had never urged me to do so, it would never end up this way.
And.. I wouldn't be this happy at all.

"Cause it's you in my arms tonight.. I don't need an imitation." -Imitation, Melee.
;]

Dan, I'd need no more imitation like what you created last night.
Cause tonight I found the real creation. Haha..

Shit. Prelim is tomorrow!!!!!!!!!!

inevitable mosh.inc

2008-07-19T13:00:00.000+08:00

It's gonna be a marvelous day!
Yoo!

Thanks, mom and dad for allowing me to go for it.

Now, it's time to study for prelim.
After it's all over, it's time to have fun..

:)

regretted what i said. loved today.

2008-07-16T20:03:00.000+08:00

I regretted what I had just said here yesterday.
So, I made the posts private.

My mood changed to be better in the day. That's good.

I love my hair now. I feel so fresh and untroubled.
But, I didn't like how the person did her service.
Very unprofessional.
I shouldn't go to that salon anymore ever again.
I shouldn't recommend my friends to go there either.

I saw a rainbow while waiting for the bus at the bus interchange.
I saw it again when I was in the bus, reminding me when I saw a rainbow from inside the bus in Germany.
I saw afternoon's sun penetrating through the tall trees around Bedok Reservoir from inside the bus.
It reminded me too, when I saw the same thing in Germany..
Hhhh, Germany..

Tomorrow.. It's gonna be a cooool day ;]
lols. Can't wait to see how it's gonna turn out to be.

I still can't decide.
Malay or Indian, ah?

Tchoukball for tomorrow's PE. Gonna love it.

PingYiTchoukballRules

2008-07-08T00:06:00.000+08:00

It was really unexpected and beyond belief..
Thank God.. We came in FIRST!
We didn't fall into the FIRST-RUNNER UP circle like I'd been experiencing for the past one month.
NO MORE FIRST-RUNNER UP!

We played better against KCP which was stonger than TK.
We played TK first, meaning that we weren't really warmed up yet.
And, their weaknesses made us not able to really play the game well.
It's like, we were influenced by their ill preparedness in terms of even knowing the rules of the game and basic stuff like how to shoot and catch PROPERLY.
We were deprived from doing the usual thing.
PLUS.. They shouted a lot of vulgarities when they couldn't do things properly or when we did something by mistake towards them (like, accidently pushed them)
*venomous mouths with the (--puuck--) you and stuff*

I'm very very sure that we all looked quite stupid in the first game.
Winning didn't make us proud.
Only the second which was also the last game for us against KCP, the victory even made some of my teammates cry. me, not included.
LOLS.

I felt soooo hyper today!
We cheered together for the guys, our guys' team also cheered for us :)
We even cheered for other school! KCP :)
It was very fun! We did something like a wave, like what soccer spectators usually do.

Oh, man..
It was our last game. Our first and last game ever as Ping Yi Tchoukball Team.
But we made it to be the first! ..in Singapore.
We felt so proud of everyone in the team.
I am so proud of especially my side's partners: Alisa, Rilwana, Azleen.

Even though all of us did quite numbers of mistakes on the court, but we never blamed each other!
We even encouraged each other to do better..
That's the spirit I like from our team :)

We had done a good job, attempting to shout (dominating the court to bring the spirit up) and cheer and encourage each other..

We celebrated Farah's birthday. She was surprised and so happy :)
Ate Pizza Hut (Mr Rezal treated us yaaay!) while listening to music in his homeroom.

What a nice end for our tchoukball life in secondary school..
I LOVE PING YI TCHOUKBALL!
I'm gonna miss everything!

Can't wait to be called up there in front of the students during assembly in the morning.
Announcement of our victory.

:D

TCHOUKBALL-A SPORT FOR ALL

2008-07-07T00:08:00.000+08:00

I'm reading articles about tchoukball. The history and stuff.
I then finally realised that it is indeed a SPORT FOR ALL.
I will never regret that I once decided to take up this sport.

Now, I declare that..
I WILL CONTINUE TO PLAY TCHOUKBALL AS WELL AS TO PROMOTE THIS GAME TO EVERYONE.

Oh gosh.. I'm being so 'what'. Sighs.

irony of life

2008-07-06T23:26:00.000+08:00

I find that this year is very ironic. I don't even know if this word is appropriate to describe what I mean.
I'm supposed to peak in terms of studying this year, cos this is my last year whereby I have to take my O Levels.
However, I become closer to a lot of friends, I'm more committed to a lot of co-curricular activities ONLY THIS YEAR, such that I'm refrained from studying very hard.
I'm scared. I'm worried.
Why this year?
I know the answer myself though.
It's because this is my second year here. Of course I would have more friends and become closer to them this year. It's common sense.
I don't really like this. But I like it..! But.. it makes me so sinful by being lazy and succumbing to hanging out with friends instead of studying.

And also, this sinful laptop.. GOSH!
Why did I get this laptop from my friend?
I love it so much. Indulging myself in the cyberspace.. But I don't like it!
Cos it deprives me from studying!
NO.. I feel so scared! NO!

But.. I think this is kinda the right time too to enjoy my time with friends.
Since it's the last year of school.
I'm gonna miss secondary school life.. My friends, my school.. All the hurts, brokenness, failures, as well as the happy times, precious moments, amusing experiences..
I have to confess that I REALLY LOVE MY FRIENDS.

Hmm..
Everything, the enjoyable moment, is gonna be over, one by one..
Band was one of it that was already over.

Tomorrow is gonna be the last day of us playing tchoukball as Ping Yi Tchoukball Team.
I'm gonna miss the training we had.
Today, it was the last training with the school team ever..
Sobs.

Everything, sadly, has an end.

yayayayayyyy

2008-07-04T00:14:00.000+08:00

I DON'T KNOW WHY I'M SO "HYPER" TODAY..

but, i'm quite sad for estee..
don't be sad, fishy butt..

i don't know what's so special about today,
maybe i should say that nothing's so special today,
but i just feel so high!

anyway, i almost finished my book!

A SPECTACLE OF CORRUPTION by DAVID LISS.
rocks my world!

the champions

2008-06-30T17:46:00.000+08:00

Germany. You're still the champions in my heart.
You'll never lose my support at all. Never at all.
See you again in the World Cup 2010.
It's more than a joy to see you play in the field.

I attribute the victory of Spain to their good luck during the game.
Well, I also want to humbly admit that they have more capable and younger players in their squad.
I didn't take much delight in watching the game this morning, though.
Partly, because I was so upset.

To my subjective view, German players are still the best.
Irreplaceable, they are.
White jersey with black strips.
Deutscher Fussball Bund.

I will have no ears for those mocking and letting me down by reminding my champions' loss.

Naaaah! I'm.. possessed! Europe!

final match before 2010

2008-06-29T18:21:00.000+08:00

FINAL MATCH. GERMANY VS SPAIN.
Who's gonna be the champion of Euro 2008?

I'm so happy to have witnessed every single Germany's match. Never missed even one.
I feel so proud to be a faithful Germany fan to have done that! Lol.
I'm so happy to see Germany in the final round!
I never expected it to happen actually.
I now feel sorry that I had ever underestimated my own favourite team.

It will be the last match that I will see before the World Cup 2010.
The last moment to cheer for my favourite team. I will enjoy and treasure it. Tonight.
Sighs. Quite sad.
There will be no more fun with my friends fussing about the match..

Beach Tchoukball - Fun at Novena

2008-06-28T23:11:00.000+08:00

I simply love today. So much. Even though I had failed to carry out my plan to study after coming back from Beach Tchoukball Tournament.

The joy that I did a good job on one or two games at the tournament..
The joy of being the FIRST.. runner up (lol) of the tournament, they didn't really matter to me.

The thing is that..

We shared laughter together. Making fun of Mark, Joshua, etc. And, making fun of me too, of course. Sighs.

I was the only girl. Haha. But, I don't feel awkward at all. I'm used to it. Errhm, but don't think that I like to flirt with them, no. It's just that.. I don't know what. Haha. But it's not that I like to flirt with them. TRUST ME!

I felt quite guilty after losing to the Fury Warrior (is that how you spell it? hmmm I don't know), cos I wasn't able to catch any of the balls.
So I was sad. Mainly because of that, not really of our loss to the FW.

Anyway, after the tournament ended.. We made use of the vouchers that we got. (we got a lot of other exciting souvenirs too, apart of the trophy and medals)
Went to Kopitiam to eat using the $2 voucher.
Walked around Velocity at Novena, looking for a stuff that we all could buy and then use together. Of course, using the $10 voucher given :P
Having so much fun! yeah yeah yeah!

Sorry, guys.. I am a girl. I can't help but wanting to stare at cute stuff all the time.
Haha. Sorry to make you guys wait when I bought a new Adidas shoebag and Adidas spray.
The spray, turned out to be the same as my roommate's. Haha.

Yeah. So.. We ended up buying slippers at Lonsdale.
Buy 2 get 1 free. $9.90 just nice!
There were 9 of us. And 3 of us didn't have the voucher.
So, each of us just had to pay $1 to cover the ones who didn't have the voucher.

It's gonna be fun! Wearing the same slippers after training. Yeayy!

We took some stupid pictures showing how happy we were. Yeahh.
I love calling them "Kids.. Get outta this shop, fast."
Cos they often got hooked to some particular shop too.
Haha.
It was really a time of fun.

YEAYEAYEAYEAYEAYEAYEAYEAYEAYYYY.

I simply love today. I simply love Novena. Velocity. Wooaaahhhhrrrr.....

candid shot in the train

yaww yaww. in the train.. oh no! my face was all but flash! oh. maybe, they're taking pic with FLASH! wow!

at city hall interchange - mrt station.

proud with the trophy and the LONSDALE, as though we were sponsored by LONSDALE.

impossible thing happens in soccer

2008-06-22T06:19:00.000+08:00

oh myy gosh i can't believe it!
was expecting netherlands to win russia! but.. no 3-1 for russia!
so shocking!
nonononononononononononononononononoooo!
see the sky is showing its anger now..
lightning, thunder, wind blowing so strong..
aaarrrrrhhh!
so scary!

6.22am

germany overrules my life.

2008-06-21T12:13:00.000+08:00

..then i came to read my old messages three months plus ago.
germany..
it made me feel sooo strange.
shit!
what happened to me!
i really miss germany so much that i couldn't think!
i feel so refrained from doing anything at all!
is it my fault that i put germany stuff in everything, that everytime i see it my feeling hurts a lot?

it has been 3months plus but it still can't get out of my head!

i miss my bro! i miss the moments we shared in germany together!
frankfurt..
the streets.. kaiserstrasse and other strasses that we passed by..
the that shop i've forgotten the name already.. where i was looking for a bell for my guardian.
another shop and another shop which was a souvenir shop where i finally found the bell at.
the train.. the station.
the kebab shop where we had our dinner together at.. in the middle of the damn cold rainy evening.
the moment when i told him that i need to shee shee that he told me to just do so at the toilet in the train station.
the cafe, the chocolate drink he bought for me, where we were waiting for the time to come for him to go back home and for us to go to the airport.
the moment when he passed me some money for allowance,
when he bought the train ticket,
when he showed me how to go to the train station ourselves without him,
since he had to go back earlier than us.
if not, he would have to wait for another around 1hour for the next train.

the moment where he hugged me before leaving for kaiserslautern..
i held back my tears with a great effort that day..
it was so painful for me to hold back my tears on the plane too.
every second was a struggle for me.

the euros he gave me, it's still kept nicely. i just don't want to exchange it and use it to pay my lodging fee.

darn! everytime i see germany's match, i will miss germany even more!

darn! i really miss a&o hostel.
every hostel that we stayed at..
i missed the moment we had having the breakfast and dinner together.
lunch at chinese restaurant, some other restaurant also, and kebab.
i miss the moment when we shopped and walked around the shopping centre.
i miss H&M! pimkie..
i miss alan, winston and the bus driver..
i miss all the journey.
i miss being in the middle of the sea of angmohs..
i miss the weather.
i miss the snow..
i miss wearing those layers of clothes..
i miss germany!
i miss germany!
i miss germanyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy!

30-hr awake.germany3-2portugal.no regret.

2008-06-20T12:22:00.000+08:00

they were on fire in the match against portugal.

it was the most marvellous match ever seen. (believe me, i'm just exaggerating. there were a lot of more extravagant match before, i think.)

in just 4mins (eh, is it 4 or 6? haha), bastian schweinsteiger and miroslav klose respectively could score 2 goals for their team.

ballack scored the third one :)

although the very few last minutes were even more thrilling than before, due to portugal's consistent attempt at the attacking zone, germany's defence was still as strong as a fortress.

3-2. it's worth it.

i was already prepared (actually half prepared) if germany were to lose to portugal.

but, schweinsteiger made me see how high-spirited they were in the match that i wanted to believe in them once again that they really could make it.

it was proven true by him. the first goal was tremendous!

it was only at the 22nd minute of the game had he already made germany's fans proud.

another pride was brought by klose just in the next 4 (or 6) mins.

ballack scored at the second half of the game.

there were a lot of awkward, obvious and silly perjuries (or rather, it was the referee's carelessness).

some fouls were not supposed to be given yellow card, but he just did give.

ironically, some fouls which were supposed to be given yellow card, he didn't.

anyway, that was the most enjoyable match for me.

since i watched with the other 3 portugal supporters, making me standing alone to support germany.

but it was fun. i can make the others feel jealous and dissatisfied. and also, made them realise how upset they were. haha.

oh gosh, i'm so cruel. nonono. it was just for.. fun. and i didn't really do that actually.

this is.. 30hour-consciousness.

wow..

i haven't had my sleep.

i took my physics mock exam paper 2 like a zombie; eyes open so widely, but my mind was sleeping.

i didn't even totally contemplate on what i was writing on my answer script.

hope that it would make sense.

fail will i. i think.

sighs..

but i never regret. for germany.

17june08

2008-06-17T21:46:00.000+08:00

i watched germany vs austria at nissa's house.
i and nissa missed the first half of the game cos we overslept until 2am.
i felt very happy to see them win and make it through the next round, yeah babe!
i felt disappointed cos lukas podolski was out of the field nearing the end of the game. however,
i felt relieved. finally michael ballack had recovered from his goal-infertility.he scored.free kick.

i and nissa couldn't wake up on time this morning to go to school, so..
i and nissa didn't go to school today for "extra lessons on holiday". so..
i and nissa continued sleeping until 2 or 3. after that,
i and nissa ate lunch, yummy.

i felt guilty. because of me wanting to watch germany's match, we didn't go to school. however,
i and nissa studied. self-study. to get rid of my guilty feelings for causing us not go to school.

i added quite a lot of songs into my mp3 from nissa's comp.

i was shocked last night to know how actually podolski's voice sounded like.
i thought it would sound like those cheeky ones, but it turned out to be very deep and so manly!
i smiled :)

i am upset cos that person checked me out but didn't reply to that. but,
i am so happy to.. finally.. see that face again! the profile. the photos.

beautiful people camp 13-15june

2008-06-15T23:19:00.000+08:00

too many things to learn. making me sick and disturbed! knowing that it'll be hard to put those things into action. but still, very grateful.

my trainer in that camp said that my dreams are not too idealistic. they are reasonable.

falling down hurt. took up a lot of courage and strength to get up and pull myself up. tough. hard. hated it. hate it.

and i realised that i am actually not easy to get excited. for some things. whereas others are for those particular ones.

gonna go to that home again next week after the kungfu panda treat cum lunch.

the grand luxurious regent hotel was too much to ask for. loved it!
had not been enjoying such facilities for months. the last was in november and was not that high class. tv, tub (sh*t, didn't bathe! only showered), air-con, spring bed. buffet dinner! heaven on earth!

thanks to big sisters. beautiful people..
despite regret for joining the camp at the beginning, it turned out to be so cool in fact that i benefited a lot.

dreams.. leaders.. care.. those kinda bullshit theoretical stuff put into activities which were the analogies to the real life.
annoying, but beneficial.
but, not easy to put into action in real life.

and.. not really miss the regent, instead i miss germany and all its stuff i enjoyed there. weird.

i'm not in the mood.

i need to force myself to face book. not facebook.

sorrows

2008-06-13T02:56:00.000+08:00

darn.
i went all the way there, sacrificing my time and rest, just to witness how they were being defeated by those newbies.
germany vs croatia 1-2
why oh why..

it hurt me so much to see how my babies struggled to even defend and keep the ball away from being tackled by the croatians.

but, at least my star broke the goal drought.
one goal was scored after the half break..
..after a whole period of silliness, injustice and struggling.

i know it may sound very childish, but from the bottom of my heart, i really hate croatia for defeating germany..
as much as i hated italy when they defeated germany in the world cup 2006.

although i agree that the croatians were far more prepared in terms of strategies, speed and accuracy; and that the germans were quite slow and not successful in carrying out their strategies, there were too many dramas, fakes and injustice going on!

freak the referee! freak the croatian players too!
i witnessed so many faked fall-downs by the croatians that made the referee think that the germans committed foul.

joachim loew, his strategies didn't turn out to be successful.
and i think he was very slow to get schwensteiger into the field.
once he got in there, he helped quite a lot.
but, carried away by emotion and anger, he got a red card by pushing a croatian guy who finally got yellow card since he committed foul to schwensteiger at first.

and again, gomez was really a spoiler. it was proven in this match!
darrrn!

also, there were too many loop holes in germany's defence and offence.
these hence disprove what i had said before.
their defence and offence were not that strong..
:(

ballack, oh gosh.
he had been deproving, i know.
since the world cup in 2006.. :(

come on, germany! you all must buck up!
whereas croatia, both their offence and defence were superb!
ohh darn, i should admit that! :S i hate it..

but oh well..
i'm just being too fanatic, too exaggerating, too excited and silly here.
just ignore me..

i hope poland and austria will draw.
i hope and i'm pretty sure that germany will beat austria.
so in conclusion, i believe that germany will go to the next round.

ignore me!!

darn, i have to wake up again in 4 hours' time for camp which i had been reluctant to participate in.

13june, sobs..

modest guy, podolski

2008-06-12T00:31:00.000+08:00

from http://www.spiegel.de/international/europe/0,1518,559011,00.html

ROW OVER GERMAN DUAL-NATIONALITY FOOTBALLER
Politician Demands Poland Strip Podolski of Citizenship
A Polish far-right politician wants Polish-born German striker Lukas Podolski, who scored both goals in Germany's 2-0 victory over Poland in the European Championship on Sunday, to be stripped of his Polish citizenship.

No cheers: Podolski didn't celebrate either of his goals against the country of his birth.
A Polish politician has demanded that German national team football player Lukas Podolski be stripped of his Polish citizenship, according to German media reports.
....
His comments came after Polish-born Podolski, who holds both German and Polish passports, scored twice in Sunday's 2-0 German victory over Poland in the EURO 2008 European championship (more...).

In a separate interview, Orzechowski told Polish newspaper Dziennik: "If someone performs in the colors of a foreign state, there's already a desire there to renounce citizenship. You can't say it more clearly. And the president should interpret that fact like this: that it's intentional."

Podolski made headlines in Germany because his reaction to his two goals against Poland was noticeably muted. He didn't smile or cheer and even held his head in his hands after one of the goals.

"I didn't celebrate because Poland is part of my heart," the 23-year-old striker told German television after the match. "I left when I was two, but my dad and uncle and other relatives were in the stand. You have to have some respect for the country."

Podolski's teammates and Germany's media showed understanding for his attitude. German national team manager Oliver Bierhoff said Podolski had made a "nice gesture" by refraining from celebrating. "The only important thing was that he scored two goals for us," he said.

Polish supporters at the match in Klagenfurt, Austria, also showed their respect for Podolski by standing up when the announcement came that he had been declared "man of the match."

Podolski's behavior and the media coverage of it may have helped to diffuse tensions caused by a tabloid war between Polish and German media last week.

Polish paper Super Express had angered German commentators and politicians by printing a photo montage of Polish coach Leo Beenhakker holding the severed heads of German captain Michael Ballack and coach Joachim Löw under the headline "Leo, Bring us Their Heads!"

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

..Never mind how angry the Polish are.
Oh gee! Podolski is really a very modest and respectful man!
I was really moved upon reading that the reason why he didn't celebrate his goals was because he respected his home country..
:)

first time

2008-06-11T01:41:00.000+08:00

gosh!

i was screwed up today!
overslept and couldn't go for tchoukball training in the morning.
trying to study, only managed to do 20MCQ physics questions.
panic panic panic! i'm supposed to study during holidays!
but my body can't abide with what my brain always tells it.

didn't want to go for basketball training at tjc, at first.
cos i felt nervous and scared that i couldn't improve on my playing.
however, my brain kept forcing myself to go.
until some friends encouraged me to, then i decided to follow what my brain had said.

aiya. thanks so much, brain.
you talk so much, but still very lousy.
cos you can hardly make your friends move.

during the drill, before we played a game, i almost fainted.
my first experience!
luckily, i was aware of my condition. i was unwell.
not enough sleep, i think, due to being 24-hour awake yesterday.

could feel my heart pounding even on my neck.
it was so ticklish! eww! gross! could also feel my blood rushing off inside my body, especially in the chest. at the heart part. felt very funny. but, really not nice at all!

after telling my buddy for that particular drill, i went off to the water cooler.
however, walking felt like flying to me.
my vision was blurred. there was one hole of a quite clear view of the surroundings, whereas the rest was just.. i don't even know what it was.
red? black dots? or.. oh, yeah! it's kinda, like the negative of a photo!
my ears were all blocked. i could hear nothing but echoes.

but, thanks, coach. for giving us encouragement to study for o levels.
even she gave us amaths paper to practice :)
what a nice coach..

after that, went to eat ajisen ramen at tampines mall with annmarie and ng teng.
from cedar girls.
real nice girls :D

happy for spain and holland's victory!
:]

GERMANY VS POLAND: 2 - 0

2008-06-09T13:27:00.000+08:00

Lukas Podolski. after scoring the second goal.

lukas podolski scored twice, the hero of the past, present, n future.

down to earth, he is.

shown by his face after scoring the 2goals in the match.

perfect duet, he n klose. forever! salute!

it just felt nice to see them play again.

it'd been two years since the last time i saw them play in world cup 2006.

was so amazed to witness the perfect duet still able to orchestrate a beautiful goal just like what they did two years ago.

and despite lukas podolski's change in his attacking position.

i'm so sorry but i have to say that..

his position's replacement, gomez, was just.. pretty useless.

good collaboration between podolski and klose

my star! he scored!

their defence was just.. amazing!

thanks mertesacker, philipp lahm, etc.

their cooperation.. no one can beat it!

the duet, and especially the trio.

podolski, klose, schwansteiger, whose collaboration resulted in the second goal scored by podolski.

schwansteiger (just went in to the field) passed to klose,
klose passed to podolski. PERFECT!

they are really down-to-earth and always play a high-class game.

this is not a propaganda! but they are the truly perfect football team in my heart. no one could take their special VVIP place.

exchanged jersey with poland, applauding the audience

24hour consciousness

2008-06-09T07:20:00.000+08:00

watched soccer with daniel at simpang bedok.

austria vs croatia, it was rough. not that interesting though..
watching it was kinda struggle to beat my sleepiness as how austria struggled to score even one goal.
imagine..
the excitement whereby a goal was scored was only at the 3rd minute.
the rest.. ahhh.
so i dozed off during second half of the game.
at the end, nothing changed.

germany vs poland, i was awake the whole game!
even more than ever before!
they were just amazing!

i just can't wait to watch them play again. next game: vs croatia.

now it's 7.57 in the morning.
got back home at around 6.30, came online and took a shower.
after that continued on being online.

have to go soon for percussion meeting to create new cadances for the coming performances.
i'm no more performing.
alumni have to contribute to the making of the new cadances for the juniors to perform.

it's gonna be.. more than 24hour consciousness for me!
except a few minutes spent sleeping in the bus on the way back home.

oldiee

2008-06-08T05:44:00.000+08:00

and, i just couldn't get myself not distracted by the presence of my lousy 10-year-old laptop before my eyes.

(you....how would i phrase this..)
umm.. 1conversation window popped up. it's him.
third time i met him online on the same day (dawn, morning, midnight).

been talking to each other frequently lately during this holiday.
about anything; serious or just crap and random stuff as how he likes it.
but basically, everything we talk about, how crappy that would be, surely benefits me and our friendship. (does it benefit you too, anyway? lol. don't ask me in what ways tho)

he kept making fun of me insightfully without him noticing it.
including; saying that i loved showering so much.
when actually it just happened that i always came online before showering.

this guy is really really disappointed in his own country and the people.
like me. but the difference is, i'm being too idealist, wanting to make a change in my country.

too bad i "might" not be here anymore when he "might" come to singapore after he graduates. lol.

thanks for the praise for me. (oh, i'm supposed to praise you, huh? gosh.)
he's.. very good! making me stay up till.. 6am in the morning. very well.. lol.

he always throws sudden but at the same time tough questions to me, which make me think. that shows how good he is at this. maybe he could be a lawyer, if he wants to.

and he's very good also at making me jealous of the food he cooks.

enough, oldie? :P

yeah, i'm weird. so are you.. :)

19-hour non stop consciousness

2008-06-08T04:28:00.000+08:00

watched narnia today at cine leisure.
was great. loved the feeling when the movie led me feel as though i was travelling back to the past with peter and the rest.
i always love this kinda historical fiction movie..
made me imagine how thing would be if i were in their shoes.
being in that period would be so stylooo!
somehow, the castles shown in the picture reminded me of Neuschwanstein in Germany.
: darnnn! i miss it so, too much!

bought adidas water bottle for my roomie. regretted that i had bought mine before 23may that i bought it at $9 whereas now it's already $6.30! lucky you, roomie :]
and the colour was.. baby pink! there was no such colour when i bought mine, so i bought black-black.
and you, roomie, you don't want to exchange with me.. i feel so sad! :(

subway for lunch before movie started.
however, for dinner, it was kinda difficult for us to decide.
walking around here and there until city hall, we still couldn't decide.

decision makers are not us, really. we are just hopeless! (namely: me, nissa, cedrick, estee -the blacklisted people, lol)

finally, after our legs felt tired, we ended up eating pastamania.
couldn't get our ass off the chairs even after we finished the food.

once again, these blacklisted people, couldn't decide how to go home.
another confusion came: should we go home or go to east coast, lying on the beach gazing at the cloudy skies.
after it got pretty late, we finally went back home. safely. (if not, i wouldn't have written this)

power of love

2008-06-07T02:28:00.000+08:00

it was tremendous!
i felt so moved seeing some of the girls have really changed and can even do something useful.
THE POWER OF LOVE..
thanks to TJC (Mr Han Yong, Kai Ing, n other students), Eunice Olsen, everyone!

the preparation as well as the thing itself, really brought everyone together as one.

however, it then led me to realise that some of the new girls are so.. aiih. annoying and full of drama.

it was tiring. but, quite relieved upon enjoying the performances.
especially, honestly speaking, Eunice Olsen's and some bands' performances.
very attractive.

FEEDING ME UP

2008-06-05T01:06:00.000+08:00

that really messed up my afternoon, but luckily not my whole day.

he's overtly biased. i am sure. below is the explanation as well as the proofs why i can assure you that he is indeed.
i got scolded by the security guard for wearing slippers into the school, which i didn't even know that it was not allowed.
if that only was the case, i would've admitted it sincerely then.
"THE 5MOST IMPORTANT WORDS: I ADMIT I MADE MISTAKES"

but..
this man was making me fed up!

firstly, he accused me of pretending to not hear him shouting at me.
hello? i was listening to my favourite 98.7 with my earpiece stuck on my ears, how would you expect me to hear you, hey dearest uncle..
take off my earpiece when coming into the school? you don't have the rights to say that whatsoever, uncle!
that's my own problem! my own mp3 player. my own earpiece. my own EARS!
you want to take control of my life, is it?
moreover, it's a school holiday! i didn't have any classes at all. i am sure school allows me to bring mp3..

secondly, he was asking me the reason why i wore slippers.
when i was half-way answering, he said that he didn't want to hear the word "because.." that i had just spoken of.
then, uncle, what do you expect your WHY question to be replied with? other than by "because.."?
have you learnt ENGLISH LANGUAGE before?

thirdly, i was made to be scared by his threat: "...or else, i would report to mr ismail (the operational manager, or the discipline master? haha i don't even know :P)"
hello? i'm not a little girl who needs to be threatened. i understand NORMAL EXPLANATION and WOULD LIKE TO ABIDE WITH IT.

fourthly..
this is the last but not the least at all.
i saw some of my friends coming into the school wearing slippers JUST BEFORE HIS SUPPOSINGLY-NORMAL EYES!
he just PRETENDED that he saw nothing.
I WITNESSED THAT!
this..
this really proves that he is completely biased!
BIASED!
BIASED!!!

i was really angry!

sexist? are you, uncle?
scared of guys? are you, uncle?
then, what are you?
why did you treat me that way?
where is the justice in this school?

INTEGRITY, RESPECT, CARE.
yeah.. right.
perhaps there's a reason why they didn't put "FAIRNESS" or "JUSTICE" or "EQUALITY" as one of the school mottos.

bb tjc

2008-06-03T23:19:00.000+08:00

firstly, was a bit discontented when she said that i looked very lost (again) and that she actually scolded me in the game for not passing enough.
but, finally i could accept my weaknesses and learn from the mistakes i made.

thanks to her, ji hui or zhi hui haha i dont know how to spell her name.
thanks for telling me all my stupid mistakes.
thanks for telling me how i should improve on my playing.
thanks for being so patient and observant: showing me my weakness in details, explaining the steps i should take to improve in details, giving me chance to try again until i got it right.

thanks to ms ang, the lovely coach ever! :)
for giving me the opportunity to learn more from the training.
thanks for being so patient too in explaining my weaknesses to me.

i was about to not go for the training today, because i felt very uneasy and nervous about going for it.
but, well, just encouraged myself to go. find new friends. one said (ms val). new experience.
and in the end, there was something more too. new stuff to learn.

i feel that: although i'd been training so often, i'd not picked up the real skill yet. especially in a game. don't know why.
my ignorance hindered me? or my coach didn't notice since the others' weaknesses covered up mine? or.. have i lost my skill?

anyhow, i'm lousy now. well, only in a game. basic stuff, like passing, shooting (it's no longer as accurate as it used to be though), they are still okay.
but in a game, i'm completely totally absolutely lost and absent-minded.
i feel so damn stupid. haha.

thanks also to zheng chao for giving me personal training. teaching me some fakes.
but, too bad, i don't know how to use them in a game hahahahahaha.
see how stupid i am.
hrrhrhrhrhrrrrrh.

next tuesday will be another training.

superstars

2008-06-02T23:20:00.000+08:00

this concerns about the events on last saturday, 31may08..
being one of the superstars of the day..

woke up early in the freaking morning after a tiring day training tchoukball and basketball.
walked out of the house with a hope of having a wonderful day ahead.

it was a fine morning cos i was on time, not late, to meet the others. and that's a good start of the day.
i just couldn't get my eyes off the book i have been reading. what an interesting book.
"a spectacle of corruption" by david liss. a historical fiction.
they just couldn't stop complaining me being so hooked on the book. nerd, etc. whatever!

at vivo city, people started calling out for us by the eye-catching statement on the back of our tchoukball training tshirt. "I EAT BALLS"
whateverrr! i don't care what they say. we are us.
ball eaters.

i hated nissa for bluffing me that she'd not come to join us for beach tchoukball there, when i called her from sentosa.
but thanks for buying food for us :] was really hungry.

having some difficulties jumping on the sand to shoot. even balancing myself was hardly done properly. i lost balance a few times and hence failed to pass the ball after catching.

funny thing was, i crashed with mark when trying to catch someone's shot. and it was so freaking painful for a short moment.

quite disappointed cos i kept dropping ball, shooting improperly and losing balance.

however, after a while i got used to it. though my shot was not that satisfying all the while.

he came the thrilling and interesting parts. being videoed while playing. people at the beach started to look at this unique and strange-looking game. and.. being interviewed kind of personally by the people from a channel on singtel tv cable. waikit and me.

stephanie or stephany or whatever her name is supposed to be spelled, she learnt how to play tchoukball. all of this was recorded by the cameraman.

after everything had finished, we should talk in front of the camera together.
"Hi. we are from tchoukball association of Singapore. and you are watching sling hd. only on ...(sling,.. whatever! cant remember hahaha)."

it was sooo fun! superstars.. tchoukball rocks, yeahh!

xiexie, coach.

2008-06-02T13:34:00.000+08:00

thank God i went for the training.
it's worth the rush.
go back home from church n quickly leave for school for the training.

thanks mr rezal for asking us to come..
thanks qiurong for being my personal translator for the day.

i learnt a lot from the taiwanese coach during the training yesterday.
it's really beneficial as expected.

1.running fast to catch the ball
2.be agile and alert always
3.how to shoot in different angle

was really eager to do my very best.
but somehow he didn't comment anything on my shot from right wing.

at the end, was happy when the coach said "hao qiu" (i dont know qiu or jiu, haha) after i shot from left wing.
meaning that my shot was good.
in chinese, he said that my posture and shot were perfect (translated by one of the national team girls).

is it really something that i can finally be proud of? nope.
there are still some more skies higher above this sky.

i'm still a newbie in this game instead.
but maybe i can just make this as something that satisfies me just at this moment.
still better than nothing at all.

my dear friend, don't be dismayed by your weaknesses.
you still have a lot of talents in other things while others don't.
bagaikan kuat ketam kerana sepit, kuat burung kerana sayap.
i know sometimes i look down on myself too because i can't do certain things.
but cheer up and try to look at your life from a different angle.
see that no one's life can be perfect.

he said to mr rezal that i should've joined the girls' national team.
too bad, it's too late. their tournament is coming very soon.
and also, this year is my o level year. i can't be joining the team!

anyway.. xiexie, xiexie..

smile at yourself although you are a loser

2008-05-29T14:00:00.000+08:00

it made me feel worthless and useless..

this should've been something that i can be proud of..
however, it has let me down for the second time in my life.

so, what else in myself can i be proud of?

i feel like a loser.

just now, my smile which showed my acceptance came out too fast, even before my heart and brain could take what i had just heard as a reality that i could accept.
i really don't understand why.

can you please tell me why you did this to me?

my hope has gone.
i have wasted my time today.

yeah, i just have to learn how to smile at my failure.

but, still, i'm a loser.. <-- :) must smile at it yeah

just random shout out

2008-05-28T22:32:00.000+08:00

you're back! i'm so happy.. he is cute. but he has to be given up to someone else who is ready to take care of him. don't be sad. recover fast, my dear :) i know you don't really feel sad larh hor lols as what you told me. but i don't know what you really feel inside your heart. maybe you feel both sad and relieved :)
i know..

*i know? then just now, before this, i said i didn't know? walauuu.. so inconsistent lols*

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

yesterday officially joined ag flame(percussion). performance 6june08 at dbs auditorium. in collaboration with tjc.

*aiyo, why everything also tjc seeeh*
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

dsa dsa dsa dsa dsa dsa dsa dsa dsa dsa dsa dsa dsa dsa dsa dsa dsa dsa dsa dsa dsa dsa dsa

basketball trial basketball trial basketball trial basketball trial basketball trial basketball trial

yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah

*i mad larh*

God, please be with me.. quite scared cos have not played nor trained for quite long time. Let your will be done.. You have a wonderful plan for me :) amen!

what happened in 26may08..

2008-05-26T17:21:00.000+08:00

--however, today during the o level examination itself, i was not able to write narrative.
i didn't even have the ideas of the plot; how the story goes.
i spent those precious 20 minutes just to think of the ideas but couldn't find any!
so wasteful..
i was so worried! anxiety overwhelmed me..

in the end, i ended up writing argumentative essay about how to keep good relation with your friends, which i didn't write that well as expected.

n actually.. didn't write it that whole-heartedly as well.
since i was so prepared for narrative!
well, i shouldn't have stuck to writing only 1 type of compo. i just realised that last night, which made me not really prepared to be able to change my thinking..

paper 2 was okay though. more confidently done than paper 1.

but i just don't feel right.. :( i'm scared i just couldn't score as expected.

now my only hope is oral.
if i couldn't achieve my expectation, i should take another malay paper in october, the thing which i don't want to do.. :(

meet the parents for me was at 3pm.
mr chua joined in our conversation; me, ms ang, aunty ros, n sharlotte (baby talk haha)
what we talked about?? ummm that's.. not to be shared here :D

my amaths this term really pulled me down. yeahhhh thanks to the disastrous mock exam.. :S dropped down by 4grades! so disappointing..

english english english.. aaaarghh!
please.. give me a chance to get that distinction please please pleaseeeee..!
physics too! amaths too..

there'll be no holidays for us yeahhhh! :) :(

so happy for peishiiii! :D
can't wait to see you n asher.. hihihihihiiiiiiii.. aaaahhh!

direct school admissionnnnn!!
mom has just sent my basketball certificate of participation..
hope it'd help!! ameeen.

everyday, everywhere, everytime..
my eyes will always keep wandering around in search of that face again.
i know it's impossible to find n it's crazy..
but i just can't resist it!

correction and comments

2008-05-26T16:32:00.000+08:00

Suami kami memang menarik lelaki istimewa. Bukan sahaja dia tampan dan penyayang, tetapi juga soleh dan taat beribadah. Sudah tidak aneh kalau dia menjadi pujaan dan idaman hati kami.

Tetapi, kelebihan yang dimilikinya ini sudah pasti membawa suatu masalah di antara kami; aku dan Kania.

Wajahku sama cantik dengan Kania, kata Danial. Anak-anakku pun sama comelnya dengan anak-anak Kania. Kepalaku diangguk-angguk mengangguk dan senyumanku kulengkungkan apabila kudengar dia berkata begitu. Namun, hatiku selalu membangkang. Aku, sebagai seorang wanita, ingin dianggap lebih cantik, lebih menarik, lebih segalanya!

Kania memang menawan. Tubuhnya bagaikan seorangperagawati. Senyumannya manis bagaikan senyuman Monalisa yang selalunya menarik perhatian para lelaki. Namun, bagiku, senyumannya bagaikan duri. Sungguh menusuk sanubariku. Mengapa cantik betul dia? Danial pasti telah berbohong kepadaku. Pasti dia menganggap bahawa Kania lebih cantik daripada aku. Aku yang sudah mulai keriput di sana sini, sudah lupa ini dan itu, pasti sudah tidak menarik lagi bagi Danial.

Di hadapan Danial, kami memang nampak baik-baik sahaja. Bersalaman, berpelukan, bersenyuman. Disebalik semua itu, rasa benci ini ingin sekali aku luapkan.

"Hei, isteri muda tak tahu diri. Masih berani lagi kau menginjakkan menjejakkan kakimu di rumahku ini." kata-kata itu meluncur daripada bibirku ketika kami berada di dapur, menyiapkan makanan untuk perayaan harijadi anak perempuanku yang berumur tujuh belas tahun.

Hai.. Apa pula hakmu melarang-larangku datang kesini? Dasar orang tua tidak tahu malu. Ingatkah yang rumah ini bukan milikmu? Menumpang rumah tapi mahu menyombong sahaja sudah sombong sangat."

Kurang ajar betul anak muda ini. Aku mengetap bibirku menahan perasaan geram yang sudah hampir meletus. Untung sahaja Danial datang menghampiri kami di dapur. Kalau tidak, rasanya ingin sekali aku menangankan mukanya.

Selepas sahaja Danial pergi, mulutnya dibuka lagi, "Heh, urus sahaja anak cacatmu itu. Ada Anak cacat pun mahu menyombong sombong sangat." Seperti pisau yang ditancapkan ke jantung hatiku, seperti itulah sindiran tajamnya menghancurkan perasaanku. Boleh dia menyindir apa-apa sahaja, tetapi jangan harap dia dapat menyindir boleh mengata-ngata anakku! Ternyata, senyuman yang biasa dilengkungkannya itu menyembunyikan sebuah racun yang dapat dikeluarkannya sewaktu-waktu. sesuka hatinya

Setajam kata-katanya, setajam itu pula pisau yang akhirnya aku ambil dan kucuba hunuskan kepadanya ke arahnya. Namun, sayang seribu sayang, Danial menangkis seranganku sehinggakan pisau itu akhirnya terhunus kepadanya ke tubuhnya, bukan Kania.

Darah merah mengalir sederas aliran air mata jernihku dan Kania. Astaghfirullahalazim, Rafida, apa yang telah kau buat ini.. Kakiku menjadi lemah. Aku terduduk di lantai sambil merenung muka tampan Danial yang malang.

Sejenak sahaja, tetamu kami datang mengerumun."Ampun, ampun, ampun.." seperti orang gila aku berteriak-teriak minta ampun.

Pujaan hatiku segera dibawa ke hospital dengan ambulan. Manakala aku dibawa ke pejabat polis oleh pihak polis yang segera datang. Tidak ada apa-apa lagi keterangan yang dapat aku berikan untuk membela diriku.

Di sinilah aku sekarang, di balik jeruji sel yang memang layak untuk wanita kejam sepertiku wanita penuh dendam seperti aku layak tinggali. Aku menyesal. Namun, bagaikan pepatah sesal dahulu pendapatan, sesal kemudian tidak berguna, perasaan sesalku sudah tidak ada gunanya lagi.

"Ada yang mahu bertemu dengan anda." kata pengawal itu. Ah, siapa pula yang hendak bertemu seorang pembunuh seperti aku. Dari jauh, aku ternampak muka cantiknya. Aku gementar. Takut kalau-kalau dia akan mencaci maki aku atas kejadian ini.

Aku membisu. Malu aku. "Fida, keadaan Danial sudah bertambah baik membaik. Dia suruh saya hantarkan ini kepadamu. "Sepucuk surat berwarna merah jambu diberikannya kepadaku. "Sa.. saya mohon maaf, Kania.. Selama ini, saya.." belum habis aku berbual, dia sudah menyampuk, "Tidak. Saya yang seharusnya bermohon maaf. Saya tidak seharusnya menyinggung perasaan kakak dengan mempersoalkan tentang soal anak kakak yang cacat.Saya.. terlalu terbawa oleh emosi. Maaf.." Kakak? Tanganku dipegangnya dengan erat.

Aku buka sepucuk surat itu. Surat dari Kania danDanial. Air mataku mengalir membasahi pipiku. Danial.. Maafkan aku. Kania.. Maafkan aku. Aku memeluk tubuh mungil Kania dengan erat penuh haru.

Semenjak hari itu, dia selalu datang mengunjungiku. Danial pun datang setelah keadaannya sudah pulih. Aku dan Kania menjadi sahabat yang amat karib akrab. Aku menganggapnya seperti adikku sendiri. Bahkan hubungan kami lebih akrab daripada hubungan kakak beradik.adik beradik

this is the comment from cikgu rubiah, thanks cikgu for spending your weekend checking my karangan.. :)
evelyn,
karangan yang baik. Saya rasa kamu mampu untuk menjawab soalan naratif dengan baik. Berhati-hati untuk tidak terikut-ikut menggunakan bahasa indonesia di dalam karangan kamu. Selamat maju jaya.
ISI – 18/25
BAHASA- 16/25
JUMLAH – 34/50

Malay O Level Preparation

2008-05-25T20:30:00.000+08:00

Tuliskan sebuah cerita yang bermula dengan permusuhan tetapi berakhir dengan persahabatan.

Suami kami memang menarik. Bukan sahaja dia tampan dan penyayang, tetapi juga soleh dan taat beribadah. Sudah tidak aneh kalau dia menjadi pujaan dan idaman kami.

Tetapi, kelebihan yang dimilikinya ini sudah pasti membawa suatu masalah di antara kami; aku dan Kania.

Wajahku sama cantik dengan Kania, kata Danial. Anak-anakku pun sama comelnya dengan anak-anak Kania. Kepalaku diangguk-angguk dan senyumku kulengkungkan apabila kudengar dia berkata begitu. Namun, hatiku selalu membangkang. Aku, sebagai seorang wanita, ingin dianggap lebih cantik, lebih menarik, lebih segalanya!

Kania memang menawan. Tubuhnya bagaikan seorang peragawati. Senyumnya manis bagaikan senyum Monalisa yang selalunya menarik perhatian para lelaki. Namun, bagiku, senyumnya bagaikan duri. Sungguh menusuk sanubariku. Mengapa cantik betul dia? Danial pasti telah berbohong kepadaku. Pasti dia menganggap bahawa Kania lebih cantik daripada aku. Aku yang sudah mulai keriput di sana sini, sudah lupa ini dan itu, pasti sudah tidak menarik lagi bagi Danial.

Di hadapan Danial, kami memang nampak baik-baik sahaja. Bersalaman, berpelukan, bersenyuman. Di sebalik semua itu, rasa benci ini ingin sekali aku luapkan.

"Hei, isteri muda tak tahu diri. Masih berani lagi kau menginjakkan kakimu di rumahku ini." kata-kata itu meluncur daripada bibirku ketika kami berada di dapur, menyiapkan makanan untuk perayaan harijadi anak perempuanku yang berumur tujuh belas tahun.

"Hai.. Apa pula hakmu melarang-larangku datang ke sini? Dasar orang tua tak tahu malu. Ingatkah yang rumah ini bukan milikmu? Menumpang rumah sahaja sudah sombong sangat."

Kurang ajar betul anak muda ini. Aku mengetap bibirku menahan perasaan geram yang sudah hampir meletus. Untung sahaja Danial datang menghampiri kami di dapur. Kalau tidak, rasanya ingin sekali aku menangankan mukanya.

Selepas sahaja Danial pergi, mulutnya dibuka lagi, "Heh, urus sahaja anak cacatmu itu. Anak cacat pun sombong sangat." Seperti pisau yang ditancapkan ke jantung hatiku, seperti itulah sindiran tajamnya menghancurkan perasaanku. Boleh dia menyindir apa-apa sahaja, tetapi jangan harap dia dapat menyindir anakku! Ternyata, senyum yang biasa dilengkungkannya itu menyembunyikan sebuah racun yang dapat dikeluarkannya sewaktu-waktu.

Setajam kata-katanya, setajam itu pula pisau yang akhirnya aku ambil dan kucuba hunuskan kepadanya. Namun, sayang seribu sayang, Danial menangkis seranganku sehinggakan pisau itu akhirnya terhunus kepadanya, bukan Kania.

Darah merah mengalir sederas aliran air mata jernihku dan Kania. Astaghfirullahalazim, Rafida, apa yang telah kau buat ini.. Kakiku menjadi lemah. Aku terduduk di lantai sambil merenung muka tampan Danial yang malang.

Sejenak sahaja, tetamu kami datang mengerumun. "Ampun, ampun, ampun.." seperti orang gila aku berteriak-teriak minta ampun.

Pujaan hatiku segera dibawa ke hospital dengan ambulans. Manakala aku dibawa ke pejabat polis oleh pihak polis yang segera datang. Tidak ada apa-apa lagi keterangan yang dapat aku berikan untuk membela diriku.

Di sinilah aku sekarang, di balik jeruji sel yang memang wanita penuh dendam seperti aku layak tinggali. Aku menyesal. Namun, bagaikan pepatah sesal dahulu pendapatan, sesal kemudian tidak berguna, perasaan sesalku sudah tidak ada gunanya lagi.

"Ada yang mahu bertemu dengan anda." kata pengawal itu. Ah, siapa pula yang hendak bertemu seorang pembunuh seperti aku. Dari jauh, aku ternampak muka cantiknya. Aku gementaran. Takut kalau-kalau dia akan mencaci maki aku atas kejadian ini.

Aku membisu. Malu aku. "Fida, keadaan Danial sudah membaik. Dia suruh saya hantarkan ini kepadamu." Sepucuk surat berwarna merah jambu diberikannya kepadaku.

"Sa..saya mohon maaf, Kania.. Selama ini, saya.." belum habis aku berbual, dia sudah menyampuk, "Tidak. Saya yang seharusnya bermohon maaf. Saya tidak seharusnya menyinggung soal anak kakak yang cacat. Saya.. terlalu terbawa oleh emosi. Maaf.." Kakak? Tanganku dipegangnya dengan erat.

Aku buka sepucuk surat itu. Surat dari Kania dan Danial. Air mataku mengalir membasahi pipiku. Danial.. Maafkan aku. Kania.. Maafkan aku. Aku memeluk tubuh mungil Kania dengan erat penuh haru.

Semenjak hari itu, dia selalu datang mengunjungiku. Danial pun datang setelah keadaannya sudah pulih. Aku dan Kania menjadi sahabat yang amat karib. Aku menganggapnya seperti adikku sendiri. Bahkan hubungan kami lebih akrab daripada hubungan kakak beradik bagaikan isi dengan kuku.

Evelyn

i love ball games

2008-05-24T14:06:00.000+08:00

aaaarrrghh!

i suddenly felt urged to screaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaammm!

I REALLY WANT TO GO TO TJC BY DIRECT SCHOOL ADMISSION!

i really wanna play basketball again!

hope that the certificate of participation of being a regional basketball player in 2006 in indonesia could help.

mumm, please send it fast! nownownownownownownownownowww!

teachers, please help meee with it!

but i still wanna play tchoukball as well :)

yeah! see.. i really do eat balls!

wishes from germany

2008-05-21T23:03:00.000+08:00

i was so shocked when i saw the email from fc bayern munich fan club, the subject was somethingsomethingsomething then geburtstag (birthday).
wow! this is it..

Liebe Evelyn Tan,
der FC Bayern wünscht Ihnen als Mitglied der T-Home Fankurve alles Gute zum17. Geburtstag. Wir würden uns freuen, wenn Sie uns auch in Ihrer ganzpersönlichen nächsten Saison bei bester Gesundheit die Treue halten und vielSpaß an Ihrem Lieblingsklub haben.

Herzlichst,
Ihr FC Bayern MünchenUli Hoeneß

the translation (by PROMT online translator):
Dear Evelyn Tan,
the Bavarians FC wishes you as a member of the T-Home fan curve all the best to the 17-th birthday.
We would be glad if you hold the loyalty to us also in your quite personal next season with the best health and have a lot of fun in your favorite club.

Warmly(With kind regards),
your Bavaria FC Munich Uli Hoeneß

:D yeahhh!

17. old? or mature?

2008-05-21T22:14:00.000+08:00

even though i don't feel happy with my birthday (as i now have turned older), i don't feel sad either.
instead. i feel so high. (huh, is there any significance haha..)

during malay class, my teacher n friends sang a birthday song for me.
even another malay class did the same thing too when i went in there to pass something..

the mother tongue (malay) intensive programme today was so stressful i don't know why.
plus, i was so sleepy.
my essay, the teacher said that i made it too flowery such that it hindered the storyline..
i was quite disappointed n was to come to wonder how i could improve on it.
i was doubting myself as well, whether i could do better since i always have problems with manipulating an interesting storyline.
so, my favourite lesson didn't turn out to be quite fun on this birthday of mine.

but.. this is the interesting part!
was asked by nissa to come down to the surreptitious place that she showed me the other day.
there, my friends were already waiting. trying to hide the cake while i had already seen it!
hahaha.

was asked to make 17 wishes.
7 of the 17: 1) A1 for chemistry 2)A1 for physics 3)A1 for amaths 4)A1 for emaths 5)A1 for english 6)A1 for malay 7) A1 for combined humanities.
yeah..
8) germany must win the euro 2008!
9) get into my dream junior college, victoria!
10) i wanna go to germany for my university
11) umm some germany people stuff :)
12) may God bless the world; problems:the earthquake victims, terrorism, global warming..
13) may God bless my family..
14) may God bless everyone taking the o levels, especially my friends in pyss!
15) i want to at least be at the top 4 or 3 for tchoukball competition : pleaseeeee..

the rest (2more).. personal stuff that are only for me to know.
haha..

they all bought me a small soccer ball (white nike ball, i had wanted the black adidas ball tho. but, this is better as they could write on it)
ate the cake yeah!

gave to some teachers too :D including mr chua. lol.

thank God for today..

oh yeah. i like this simple celebration.
i'm so happy that i don't celebrate sweet 17 like what common girls in indonesia do. haha.
(just like what i had been wanting when i was sick of seeing their luxurious n complicated celebration, lol don't get offended please :P)

2008-05-19T12:48:00.000+08:00

testing 1, 2, 3

i eat balls

2008-05-17T01:59:00.000+08:00

:) my brother is back!
he messaged me today..
actually his phone was spoilt that no one could contact him.
n he'd been away for around 2 weeks for holidays.
so jealous..
he went to the castle that my friends n i stayed at..
oh gosh! i really miss that place so much!
can't help it!

today celebrated tahir's birthday altho his birthday is on 18may..
gave him cake, present (u know what.. girls' panties! insane!), went to eat at bagus in the late evening :)
yuummm..
after that, i ate again at hm since the staff had kept my dinner, yeah just to appreciate them..

today got the new tchoukball training tshirt.
I EAT BALLS.. pingyi tchoukball.. freakshow!
:) yayyy!

went back for band today after 1 month's off.
seeing the section members being split up into some other sections, it made my heart broken into pieces..
:( ohhhh..
but i was laughing when i saw khairi, the joker, changed from percussion to euphonium (but in the end to trombone, which he still doesn't like haha)
altho in my heart, i was very sad to see it happening..

moreover, there'll be 40 over people who can't go for indoor competition next year..
sad sad sad..

yay monday is a holiday..

sunday is a cip day!
haha..

deutschland rocks. project was over.

2008-05-15T17:11:00.000+08:00

arrrghh i get so angry already!
this is my third time typing the same kind of post!
cos my previous two were failed to be posted..

anyway, the day after yesterday we ended up staying over at kelvin's house doing the project.me, dan, yimin, n kelvin himself.

today, in the morning i was so damn angry.cos our project was not completely done -we haven't put the song, neither have we set the timing so that the slide can change by itself- and ms val was not able to help us with it.
moreover, my amaths mock exam paper was.. crap!
while a lot of others managed to pass n some even got distinction, i'm wondering why i couldn't do as well.

at the very last minutes before the presentation, i was even more down.
mr rezal said that our presentation might not go smoothly cos he might not have time to put the song..
n i quarrelled with kelvin just because of a small stuff.i'm now so embarrassed cos it seems so funny that i ever quarrelled like that.it was so childish.

well, it was indeed true. it didn't really go smoothly.at the beginning, we had some difficulties finding the song that we want.n don't know why, in the middle of presentation the power point slide was stuck.but it only happened for about 5 seconds.
5 seconds of "boo"-ing commotion.

however, i don't know why it didn't embarrass me. it didn't even strike me as odd.
i even talked (surprisingly) confidently to introduce my group n fanny's group (at the end of my presentation)

i was so elated n surprised that the song really matched with the presentation!
it ended together with the slide show!was extremely happy!
even though i think the presentation didn't catch the sec1-3s' attention much.

n i found that someone in sec3 really loved the german song that was being played during the presentation.german song rocks la :P

my presentation made nissa remember about germany; made her miss germany even more! haha.. me too :'

her presentation was sooooooooo funny n at the same time.., lame! haha..but it wasn't fair! cos nissa n mr rezal didn't appear, while the others were embarassing themselves!only their voice! no fairrrr!hahahaha..

bought a candy floss for my roommate n she was so happy :D

ok now that it's all over, i'm free! i want to go n jog now.. yeah!n then study..hhh i couldn't force myself to study!! :(

helllppppppppp!!!!!!!!!

punishment. Germany. Ko oki.

2008-05-12T20:07:00.000+08:00

i miss germany! really miss it so much!

until.. weirdly, i cried last night that i could hardly sleep..
yeah, actually this is mainly due to my brother.
i'm really in a confusion about where in the world has he gone to?
he has never updated his friendster, never replied my sms, never called me nor my parents in indonesia, never gotten back to his friends who have been trying to contact him.
ko, where are you?!
i really miss you..
i hope that you are doing fine there.. maybe you are doing your final paper so that you deprive yourself from talking to anyone and not because of something else.

today i was really happy at school. perhaps it was because i wore my new bag to school :)
and.. i could meet my friends :D

but.. this feeling just cant go away..
this is precisely the same as how Michael in the book that i've been reading (this is my second time reading the book), Punishment by Francis King about this group of English students who went to Germany to know about what had happened more.
Like him, I could not get Germany and all the memories I had there out of my head!

i really miss you so much.. ko oki..
i miss you so much.. germany.

last night, i somehow could feel the coolness in germany.
the cool air, it was really touching my skin..
GERMANYYYY!!

God, please protect him..
i'm so worried..! :( helppp!

my inspiration is her..

2008-05-08T19:30:00.000+08:00

I really adore her.
She is my inspiration!
Allison!

We met just before my syf outdoor (Saturday)..
When she first came to AG with the others from the Beautiful People on Wednesday.

She has beauty, brain and behaviour.
Not only that..
She is very amiable and sociable.
More interestingly, she plays almost all kinds of sports!
Gosh..! She is just.. perfect!

She believes that even though I fail now, if I study harder, O Levels will not be a problem.
But.. somehow.. now.. I just can't believe in myself.. anymore.

I just don't get how some people are able to achieve straight As for Os.
It just seems.. impossible.

Although she looks very relaxed. And.. she doesn't study like a nerd, she still managed to get straight As for O Levels and get into Hwa Chong Institution.

I wanna be like her!!
:)

In September, she's going to UK.
Oxford is waiting for her.. She'll be in full scholarship.
Wow..

When I think of her..
I just feel encouraged to open my book and study.. :)

Okay.. I wanna study now!
Failures are just lessons for me to learn to be better.

Stay happy! Yay!

Lord is helping me.. :D

I'm a failure..

2008-05-08T19:10:00.000+08:00

oh gosh.
I don't know what happened to me.
I thought it's going to be alright after that time, but it didn't turn out that way..
Is it because I've been mingling too much with the locals that I don't focus on my studies?
That's what I've been putting the blame on. But, I don't think it's right.
Lord, whyyy..
Did I not try hard enough? Did I not study hard enough?
Did I not rely on you enough?
Well.. yeah, I think the last ones are the true reasons why..
Or, is it because He has a better plan for me in the future?
Like.. He gives me failures so that I can grow up to be a tough woman?
or.. maybe, He wants me to peak at the right time, ie. O Levels?
But.. If I don't produce the expected results now, how can I score for my Os?

I've failed my physics mock exam for the structured questions with the terrible E8..
So, overall I got C5.
Isn't that terrible?!
Gosh!

Today, Emaths mock exam. I don't know why I just couldn't manage to get what most of my friends got!
Anyway, during the exam, I'd been thinking of what mr rezal told me about one teacher who'd always be fierce at anytime.
Suddenly, she really showed it to me..!
She scolded me when I turned my head back to talk to nissa, as she was asking me how to tie the answer papers together when there was no hole at all..
Holding back my laughter and at the same time, anger, (as I was helping her to tie the papers together!) I just smiled at her and said "Okay.." cos I understood her characteristic.
Lol. Sigh. Not funny though..

I just feel very sad..

2008-05-03T15:17:00.001+08:00

I don't feel happy! I feel damn angry!
Stupid viruses and spam! Dammit!
They are making me crazy..
This is what would turn out when you don't have an active and regularly-updated antivirus..
My laptop is infected by those stupid parasites which are depriving me from doing my stuff in my computer.

Anyway, my days have been fun.
Since that day, when estee, nissa, tahir, ray, cedrick and I studied together at parkway mac donald's, we all became a real study group.
Yeah, I eventually find my study buddies.
We've been studying together a few times after that.
It's not the study group where we all discuss about some stuff together; we just do our own stuff but we are sitting together so that one could be motivated seeing others doing their work.

Nissa, estee and I really became like sisters, especially after that wonderful and cheery night on labour day - our BBQ day.
Preparation days made us and other friends become closer together.
Spending those afternoons after school, buying food and other stuff for the bbq at bedok interchange with our heavy bags.

Wednesday, only me staying over at nissa's house -pranking those who were online on msn haha- cos estee were told by her parents to cancel the plan to stay over. It was very devastating.

But, we eventually managed to stay overnight together at nissa's house after the bbq.
It was unexpected and out of our plan.
After the bbq - spending the night under the starry sky with our beloved friends barbequeing the food that we couldn't finish - we suddenly came up with the idea to sleep over, even though the following day was a school day.

It was so fun! Found out something very interesting and unbelievable.. Haiz.

Slept at around 2+. I was the last one to sleep as I tried to finish my eventually-unfinished homework.

Without any preparation to go to school - except books that I happened to bring - I didn't feel unsecure cos I could borrow nissa's uniform and shoes.
But estee took her uniform at her house in the morning.
Having a little bit problem with the taxi booking in the morning, we finally managed to be at school on time and had our prata for breakfast before the ball rang.

And on that day, even though I had only slept for 3 and a half hours, I felt so high.
LOLS.

Now I'm at kelvin's house, was doing our germany project again.
due date on 15may, gosh!
daniel is here, oh my gosh!
hahaha. he damn crappy la hahahahha..
I showed him the cutie picture and he became very high!

hahaha..

kelvin, too bad your mouth is off the picture

i swear i never played!

2008-04-26T01:25:00.000+08:00

Wow. April 22 was the amazing day ever!
Due to one event on that very day (regardless of other dismaying events that might probably happen, cos I've forgotten already. haiz. yeah that's the problem when I don't blog for even one day, but anyway..), which was very astounding, unexpected, and just wondrous.

I was there, waiting for lesson to start with the same boredom, but was quite enthusiastic though since it was kind of my favourite lesson (humanities. that's why).
On the topic that she suddenly brought up to the class, with my amazement, I went up to the front of the class upon being asked so by her.
She later mentioned to the class about me letting go of my lost prize vouchers I had gotten on speech day on that day itself, hoping it would just bless the one who took them, and how she was touched by what I had just said on the previous day when she asked me about my feelings.
A yellowish envelope was then handed to me after she shook my hand.

I was quite embarassed being on the center of attention where all the eyes of my friends were on me.
On the other hand, honestly, I was very elated and touched at that point of time.
Wheter it's correct or not, I could somehow see the crystals of tears which made her eyes seemed wet, like someone who just yawned.

Although she unintentionally told me to take care of the "cash" (accidentally said out), I had not opened to check the value until school finished.

Oh my gosh! I really don't know what to say or do! It's just too good too be true!
On the day when I lost the vouchers worth $120, Farah had said that I would probably get something bigger than this; which really came true!
And when it really did, I couldn't even believe that it did!
Upon what she said about the bigger amount that I was receiving than the amount of the vouchers that I had lost, still it did not manage to make me feel curious to peep the amount inside that.

With mouth opened in surprise, I was very amazed that I really got cash worth $30 more than what I had lost.

I really thank you, Lord, for Your blessings. He really kept His promises and made them come true (although, not all times).

That was the day where He really revealed that to me.

Thanks..!

2008-04-19T19:52:00.000+08:00

Shoot. I knew it. I knew that it would happen. My intuition had warned me of the bad thing before it happened. But my brain didn't seem to command my limbs anything to prevent that dismaying disaster from happening.

Yesterday was indeed my day.. as in.. I got an award for my achievement in studies. I really thanked God for that, as it was only by His blessing that I could receive it. Being under the scrutiny of the guests present at the newly-air-conditioned hall, on the stage, receiving that award, I felt very elated. I regretted that I had opened that white envelope with my name and class written on it to see what prize that I got. For if I had not opened it, the prize might still be mine now.

I put that opened envelope under my bag on the chair at the round table where we were sitting. It's indeed my own stupidity, I admit, that I had ever left my prize unattended like that for taking food and the dancefloor.

You should've put your vouchers in your pocket. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's all they could say. Well, indeed, there's nothing they can do about it. Teachers are not responsible of it, I know. But, all the advice they gave was just disturbing me helplessly. They sounded like a condemnation to me; making me feel even more stupid than when I realised that mistake I had made myself. Even all those sympathies from teachers and others were making me even more hurt.

Feeling of anger and resentment would never be erased. Vouchers for Popular worth $40 and Borders $80 had gone. I can't help but complaining and wondering of the ways how I could actually get those vouchers back.. in my heart. But, there's none I could think of, really.

..probably it's the time for me to learn from my mistake and to let go of my own possession sincerely by at the same time hoping that it would bless the person who had stolen it.

"0+1-1=0. myself, dont be dismayed. It's up to Him to take away what He has given me. I just believe that there will be something more than this."

..on the same day, knowing my loss, she shared that her one of most favourite uncles had died during the prize giving event, making her parents left before the event finished.
That's even more saddening than what had happened to me.

All I can do now is, just to think that, I had never received that prize before. Or rather, it never existed; never was it in my hand, never was it seen by me with that enthusiasm, satisfaction, grateful feeling and desire to shop at those bookshops.

Myself, keep your cool.. steady.
There will be even better things.. yet to come.
He has something good for me, yet to come.